Love by Design
by somewhataddicted
Summary: AU human. Bo is months away from getting married when the interior designer her fiancé hired turns her world upside down and forces her to make some important decisions. Doccubus endgame.
1. Chapter 1

_****All characters are property of Lost Girl and Prodigy Pictures. I own nothing, just put my own spin on it****_

_**Here's a short intro chapter on an idea prompt from Syd. I'm trying to decide if I want to continue it. Let me know what you think.**_

**Chapter 1**

I sat at the island and sipped my coffee while flipping through a bridal magazine. There were a thousand and one things to do today, not to mention the next several months before our wedding. I could hardly keep track as the days flew by and I felt like I had accomplished little to nothing. To top it all off, my fiancé had hired an interior designer to come in and redo the entertaining areas of the house before our engagement party. Who knew what he was thinking, there was no way it would all be done in the next few weeks. He proposed to me last Monday. Our romance had been a whirlwind, so it would only make sense that everything else in my life felt crazy at the moment, too. It all happened so fast. We met on one of those scenic train rides that was set up for a friend's birthday. I'd never met Rainer before, but apparently Carl was a friend we had in common and we both found ourselves laughing and flirting in the beverage car the whole ride. We fell for one another like a ton of bricks. That was four months ago and every day since I'd felt like my life had spiraled out of control as I raced toward a destiny I wasn't entirely sure I really wanted.

Did it matter though, if you wanted that destiny or not? I mean, if something was inevitable, could you change it? Would you even want to? I loved him, but sometimes I scared myself with these kinds of thoughts. I shook it off, chucking it up to cold feet since I had never really had a real relationship before. With him, something felt different, comfortable, but somehow still not…I couldn't put a word to it. Maybe like there should be something more? I didn't know. My mother told me to stop being silly before I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. Rainer was a wonderful man, successful, handsome and he doted on me. The sex was good, not that it would be a deal breaker I guess. I mean, it's just sex. Maybe that was the problem though. If I was going to marry him, shouldn't it feel like more than that to me? I didn't know what love felt like, or what it meant other than the stories you hear. Some believed the connection was instant, others that it developed over time, that it was important to be friends first. That last one would fit my situation better. Maybe it just took more time. I was already comfortable and he took care of me like no one else ever had. By our wedding day, it would all make sense, I was sure of it.

I groaned, my head ached from having to listen to this same internal monologue yet again. It seemed to play on loop even as I looked at him adoringly, walked happily on his arm in public and snuggled with him in bed. I was happy. Really I was. Everyone loved him, as did I. It was just nerves I kept repeating. Shaking my head, I pulled the cup to my lips and sipped the last of my coffee just as the doorbell rang. I placed the cup in the dishwasher and dried the counter before I smoothed down my dress. That had to be the designer Rainer hired. I walked to the door, hopeful that this guy wouldn't take long, both with the appointment and the project.

When I opened the door, my breath caught in my chest. It wasn't a man and it certainly wasn't one of those butt crack contractor types either. Who knows what I expected, but it most certainly wasn't the leggy blonde that was standing in my doorway making notes on her tablet. She mustn't have heard me open the door, so I jumped on the opportunity to take her all in for a few seconds before I cleared my throat. Her head snapped up, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of me. I smiled inwardly as we stood there momentarily looking at one another. Oddly enough, it didn't feel awkward at all. Finally, she rolled her eyes and flashed the most adorable shy smile when she extended her hand in greeting.

"Hello, I'm Lauren Lewis from Lewis Design Group. You must be Bo."

I smiled brightly and nodded. "Yes, I'm Bo."

I took her hand. There was an instant warmth that tingled it's way up my arm. Our handshake was longer than necessary as we stood fixed in place and stared into one another's eyes. I lost myself in her warm chestnut orbs and felt myself smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt. Her eyes sparkled in response, causing a flutter in my belly that I had never experienced before. A sudden moment of clarity seemed to prevail in her head as she blinked quickly a few times, pulled her hand from mine and focused on her tablet once again. She couldn't hide her blush though. I could see it travel up her neck and redden her cheeks as she fumbled through her folder. Boy was she yummy looking all flustered and dressed in that tailored white button down with perfectly cut slacks that showed off her form.

"I uh…yeah, sorry." She laughed nervously. I looked at her lips as she spoke. "I have some ideas based on what your fiancé told me over the phone. I need to take some measurements and I'd like to discuss them with you."

Well that was a bucket of ice water on the crotch. I honestly had forgotten all about him. Oh my god. I panicked, my heart beat wildly as I realized that thirty seconds with this stranger had made me forget about my fiancé. What did that say about me, about us? Hasn't this been my problem all along, always wanting something, or someone else? She looked at me curiously, probably noticing my sudden nervousness, so I stepped back and waved her in with a forced smile.

"Sorry, please come in."

I shut the door behind her and watched as she walked into the large living room and surveyed the area with her eyes. I could already see the wheels turning in her mind full of ideas. She set her things down on the end table and looked at me. The weight of her gaze made me shift nervously for reasons I couldn't explain.

"May I?"

"Sure," I shrugged, unsure what permission she was asking for.

I sat on the edge of the sofa as she pulled out a measuring tape and went to work. The way she moved around the room was mesmerizing. It was almost as if she were gliding and each movement was so precise and purposed. Every so often she would mumble something to herself, it sounded like math, probably sizing up the dimensions. I could watch her do this all day. I had no idea how long I sat there silently watching her, surely with the goofy grin I usually got when I was into someone, but I was in no hurry for it to come to an end. I had also never been affected by anyone the way she has done in mere minutes. She stopped abruptly and turned to me with a gleam in her eye and a wicked smirk. Did she have any idea how sexy she was? It sent a shiver down my spine. I felt my body tense wondering if I had missed something and been caught in my daydreams of her. Her eyes drifted to my mouth, then met my eyes once again. She moistened her lips and my stomach dropped. What the hell was happening to me?

"You ready?" Her voice was silky smooth.

Huh? Ready for what? I did miss something. I hope she couldn't tell what I was thinking. I fidgeted nervously.

"Umm, ready for what?"

"For me to show you what I have planned for this room. I can't wait to hear your thoughts."

Of course she meant the job. She was here to do a project and it seemed I was the only one with my head in fantasy land. I'd love for her to show me things in this room, in all the rooms, though not necessarily of the decorating nature. Although I was certain we would demolish a few of the furnishings given the opportunity. I had to stop thinking this way. Maybe I should focus back on the designs.

"Yeah, give it to me."

I cringed at the way it sounded when the words left my mouth. Her smirk grew tenfold as if she could read my mind. If she couldn't, my flush of embarrassment would definitely give it away. She was probably used to people fawning over her like this anyway. I cleared my throat and stood up, pretending to be ready to listen to her plans. She spoke quickly, her hands moving on their own as her passion for her work flowed through her and excited me on a number of levels. I was in trouble. All I could focus on was her hands and how it would feel to have them all over me. I found myself gravitating closer to her as we maneuvered around the room, close enough to feel her heat though my clothes. I flinched when she set her hand on the middle of my back. I looked at her in confusion as I had obviously not heard a damn thing she said.

She smiled warmly, almost enjoying the way I seemed to be enamored with her. "Over here please."

She led me to one area that had her particularly excited. I followed, glancing to the corner as she detailed her plan to expand and round out the area to make it a breakfast nook with a picturesque window overlooking our lake. She touched my arm this time and pointed to the left, still talking about something or other. I had long since glazed over, my gaze moving past the intended destination and settling itself on her sculpted profile. She was beautiful, like Grecian statuesque beautiful. I looked down to see my own hand take her by the arm, drawing her attention back to me. I didn't know why, or even what I would say, but my body seemed to have it's own ideas when it came to her. My contact made her freeze in place, her jaw slack in surprise as she looked deeply into my eyes.

"Lauren, I-"

I leaned in slightly, my heart thumped wildly in my throat. Her quick, shallow breaths danced across my skin. I was unsure if she felt what I did, or if she was worried about how she should react.

"Hey babe, I'm home"

I jumped back when the deep voice of my fiancé startled us from our moment as he called out from the other room. Rainer hadn't seen us yet. He hung his coat and placed his briefcase neatly in the corner. Lauren swallowed hard. I couldn't get a read on her feelings, whether it was hope or hurt, excitement or dread, she was all over the place.

"Is that the designer's car out front?"

"Um, yeah, it is."

I removed my hand from her arm and looked away, slightly uncomfortable with whatever I was about to do, even if it felt like the most normal thing in the world with her. She stepped away and followed me back to the living room where she picked up her things.

"This is Lauren Lewis. Lauren this is my fiancé, Rainer. She has some wonderful ideas. I think we will be very happy with her work."

I felt uncomfortable for some reason, introducing him to her. I smiled warmly at Lauren and finally saw what I thought looked like sadness before she focused on him. She reached for his hand in greeting, her face fell into a perfectly practiced mask as she went right into work mode. Before my eyes she transformed into another person, still friendly, but more distant. It occurred to me that she didn't put that mask on with me and that fact made something inside me feel deeply satisfied. No, we were relaxed, almost familiar even, right from the moment we met.

As she led him away to discuss her ideas, she threw a glance over her shoulder. She had a look of contemplation as she flashed a light smile. Somehow I knew in that moment that she felt what I did. What it meant, however, I had no idea. I was soon to be married to who I thought was the person of my dreams, but along came this woman, subtle as a freight train, turning my world upside down.

I was most definitely in trouble.

**XXX**

_**So, do you want more of this story? Please leave me your thoughts, you know I love to hear them :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Wow! Thanks so much for the warm response to the first chapter of this story. So here we go, off on another BoLo adventure. I make no promises as to where it's headed, or how they get there, but Doccubus is endgame. I** **hope you will enjoy it.**_

**Chapter 2**

I returned to my bridal magazine, leaning against the kitchen island at an angle I could watch the two of them move about the place. Every so often I'd steal a glance at her over the top of the glossy pages that I wasn't really paying attention to, at least not as long as she was still in the house. Just yesterday I would have happily sat here thumbing through these same pages dreaming of my special day, now everything felt different. Rainer smiled happily as Lauren made big swooping motions with her hands, explaining some grand plan for the room. She was enthusiastic about her work that was for sure, but she was missing that light she had in her eyes when she spoke to me. It made me smile knowing that I had shared a connection with this stranger.

He nodded his head and reached inside his jacket, pulling out his checkbook and favorite Montblanc pen. I never understood why he needed an expensive pen, I mean really, three hundred dollars? My Bic pen pack of a gazillion from Sam's Club for five dollars signed my checks just fine. Heck, so did the free one at the bank. He said it was all about business and looking successful for clients. I guess, but if I were a client, I'd like to think that money could be spent on making me more money and not making him look good. I figured it was some kind of alpha male thing that I would never understand and it wasn't like he didn't have the money, so maybe that was just his thing. Well, pens and fancy watches. I can admit though, that I also love a good watch. I didn't make as much money as he did, but I would treat myself once in a while. Watches, oh and boots, those were my things. I got a lot more use and a lot more compliments on my $300 boots than he did with his pen, that was for sure.

I guess I'd be seeing more of Lauren now that she had a deposit in hand. Oh, here they come. My eyes flipped back to the magazine, looking up only as I heard Ranier issue his goodbye. I smiled as her eyes drifted over at me one last time before she made her way out of the house. Ranier left the room. I could hear him kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket in the closet. I moved to the corner window, peeking out at an angle to hide myself from view. She placed her things on the passenger seat and walked around to the driver side. She stared back at the house with a perplexed look, fidgeting with her car keys a bit. Though her gaze drifted towards my window, Lauren didn't see me watching her. I felt a touch of a voyeur, but I was grasping for any little thing I could find about her. She scrunched up her nose and looked to the sky as if she were pondering something, still fiddling with her keys. My heart raced hoping that the very thing she was pondering was me. Her head suddenly dropped and shook side to side, she looked back toward the house with a smile, bit her lip slightly, then got in and drove away. I looked on as the black Mercedes SUV slowly disappeared from sight. I thought for sure this crazy feeling I had would dissipate as soon as she left, but instead I found that it only intensified. My stomach fluttered with the anticipation of when I might see her again. The dull ache in my core still lingered since the moment I think I almost kissed her.

"Bo," I flinched when his voice ripped me from my daydreams of one Lauren Lewis. I didn't know how long I had been lost in my head, but it was a wonderful place to be. "There you are honey."

"Hey there."

I turned to him, forcing a smile onto my face. It was odd that I had to make myself smile, I should be overjoyed. He sure was ecstatic and he did make me happy, but she...she was something else. He swept me up into his arms, a yelp escaped from the unexpected move.

"I missed you. I called it an early day just to see you." He kissed me hard. I finally relaxed, letting my arms drape around his neck as he deepened the kiss. He pulled back, eyes flaring with excitement. "Besides, I didn't want you to have to deal with contracts and negotiations. You just work on being the most beautiful bride ever. So, what do you think? She's great right?"

"Huh?"

"The designer, she's amazing. Such clear thought of her vision."

He kissed me again, this time softer. He held me close, our bodies pressed together in all the intimate places.

"Oh right, yup she's amazing alright. Great thoughts."

I couldn't think clearly. He had no idea of the thoughts she put into my head in the few minutes we spent together, none of which had anything to do with the redesign. He began to pepper light kisses down my neck causing the already throbbing parts of my body to go into overdrive.

"I know a woman that's beyond amazing," he husked into my ear, nipping my lobe with his teeth. His hands traveling down, cupping both cheeks. I shivered. My need to release this pent up desire began to bubble over. I sighed, trying to clear my mind of her and refocus on the man I was going to be marrying very soon as his strong arms whisked me upstairs to our bedroom for a little afternoon delight.

**XXX**

The drive home was a blur, my thoughts solely on the dark haired beauty that took my breath away at first glance. I was used to seeing beautiful people, I worked with them all the time. Multimillion dollar clients, celebrities, designers, even models. I even held a few not-so-shabby-looking lovers over the years, but none could compare to the sight of her sincere smile, endearing chocolate eyes and dimple that stopped my heart. There was a warmth about her that didn't fit the uppity surroundings of her home, or her neighborhood that was all about keeping up appearances. So many people that I worked with were just concerned about how good I can make them look in order to improve their social status. That wasn't what I felt with Bo. She was genuine and when she looked at you, or spoke, she you felt like there was no one else in the room. Her full attention was on you. I didn't even have to fake a smile with her. I felt like I was pulled right in like a moth to a flame, inviting me, calling to me. Something about her connected with me on a deeper level than I had ever experienced and it was frightening. It was exciting. It was dangerous.

Bo was engaged to be married and to a very well connected family. I was definitely not a home wrecker, never have been. I figured it was just a combination of hormones and ignoring my needs over the last year while my business boomed. I hadn't really dated in years, just a casual fling here and there and an arrangement with a friend when one of us needed to blow off some steam. Even that had been a while. I hadn't craved that kind of attention, even when I had the chance, so what was so different about this woman?

Shit. I hit the brakes and tried to swerve late into the turn lane, realizing I was missing my turn while engaging in pipe dreams of a woman I couldn't have, if having her was even really what was on my mind. Several horns blared their annoyance, so I stepped on the gas, maneuvering around the small car ahead of me and slid into the next available lane to make a U-turn and head back toward my office. Thankfully, it was a Saturday and the traffic wasn't bad. I'd also have the place to myself to forget these feelings by drowning myself in work like I usually did when I wanted to ignore something. I pulled into the lot and silenced the car. I sat there for a minute or two collecting my thoughts and making a plan of attack for when I walked in the door. I always had a plan. That was what made me so efficient. When I saw her though, all my plans went out the window. For the first time in my life I couldn't think. It was unnerving. I felt the intensity of her gaze as we moved around the rooms and it was exhilarating to be looked at in that way. It was almost as if I was under her spell with no control of my own. I wanted to kiss her for goodness sakes, to feel those luscious, pouty lips on mine, to taste her. My mind constantly ran through all of the possible things she may have said before her fiancé came home. Her fiancé. It was a good thing he came home when he did, or we would have either been making out like horny teens, or I would have been kicked out of the house for inappropriate behavior if that wasn't what she wanted too. What good could really come out of this? Hell, it was probably all in my head.

With a deep cleansing breath, I was on my way quickly inside, both arms full of samples and swatches I had taken with me. I was prepared to grind out the rest of the day and put Bo far behind me. I juggled the arm full of stuff to unlock the door. I pushed through it and dumped it all on the table nearby before locking the door behind me. When I flicked on the light, Evony startled me by swiveling around in the chair behind my desk. Great, this was just what I needed right now.

"Evony." My lack of enthusiasm was evident.

"Lauren, honey, is that anyway to greet your good friend?"

I felt bad. She was my good friend and business partner, but it was like she always knew the worst possible time to see me. I just wanted a quiet afternoon to myself to calm my libido and clear my head, now here she was ready to talk business. I glanced up at her, but quickly busied myself organizing the samples I wanted to play with.

"I knew I'd find you here. A new client meeting could only mean you would lock yourself down for the weekend." She gracefully stood glided around to the front of the desk. She leaned on the edge, her arms crossed and a knowing smirk tugged at her lips. "So, how did it go?"

"How does it usually go?" I challenged her by matching her posture and expression.

She smiled and relaxed, dropping her hands at her sides. "Well, you are quite the talent. I never doubt your abilities."

"You are a very wise woman, Evony."

I chuckled and returned to my samples. I could feel her eyes on me. Her analysis only served to make my body stiffen.

"You seem tense. Is everything alright?"

I forced a smile and met her eyes, my hands still busy with products. "Yes, of course. They were putty in my hands. They loved the ideas."

I looked back at the table again, no longer even paying attention to the samples I kept moving around. She moved beside me and leaned in close. Her warm breath on my skin made me shiver. I guess it really had been a while.

"Mmmm," she purred, "and boy are you good with those hands."

She trailed a finger along my collarbone, letting it travel down between my breasts. This was not helping me come down from the build up Bo caused earlier. That familiar ache reared up with a vengeance. I really did need to take the edge off, but Evony and I hadn't been together in that way in a year. It was more of a business friendship. Regardless, I felt myself fall into that old pattern of flirtatious banter.

"I bet you say that to all of the designers."

I smiled and dropped what I had in my hands. I was obviously getting no where and my body was so amped up I could hardly stand still.

"No, only the ones I date." Her hand fell to my hip, pulling me closer.

"Evony," I whispered, "we tried that, it didn't work. Now we are business only."

"Well, I for one, would love to get down to some business." She chuckled. Her witty way of flirting always made me smile. "I think you have been working too hard. Your body is begging for some fun, it's written all over you. You need to relieve some stress hon. That's my business recommendation." Her hand slid down to the place that begged for more attention.

"I thought we agreed that you were the silent partner." I let my lips brush across hers, smiling inwardly at the feel of her body trembling beneath me.

"Impossible to be silent with your hands on me." Her voice was soft, shaking with desire as she gripped my hips harder. "You're very good at what you do."

"Good, because I'm going to make sure everyone in the building hears you scream just how good I am."

I spun her around with a mischievous grin and pinned her to the wall, pressing my leg between her thighs. I attacked her neck, pulling her blouse off her shoulder as she loudly moaned her approval. The sound set me off, crashing my mouth to hers in a hurried passion to fulfill my needs and bring this hum in my body back down to a dull roar. We were always good at this. Her body was familiar, it just wasn't the body I was dreaming of.

**XXX**

_**Sorry its another short one, but it's looking like it wont be an easy road to Doccubus. Thoughts on this chapter? Review away...**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**I figured that last chapter would stir a few of you up. I was a bit surprised how many objected to Levony. Warning: There will probably be other non-Doccubus pairings as well before Bo & Lo finally connect, but as I stressed before, Doccubus is end game. **_

**Chapter 3**

I loved days like this. The sun was shining high and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The temperature was perfect; still crisp enough to enjoy my scarf and sweater, but not enough to make me shiver. I was glad I spent the extra time last night buying up all the materials I needed for my current projects so that I could enjoy the day with my best friend. We haven't had much time together lately since my business took off and I found myself really missing her unique personality. I'd been wound so tight lately that the sound of some down time browsing the small shops downtown was just what the doctor ordered. Just the act of sleeping in and having my coffee on the deck this morning was refreshing. A calm I hadn't felt in quite some time washed over me as the tension of my body slipped away. I didn't realize how much I needed this.

It wasn't just work that was weighing me down. That was a lie. Burying myself in work was what I did best, but last week, when she opened that door, there was suddenly a gorgeous brunette weighing on my mind. I knew it was useless, she was engaged and the fiancé of a very important client that could make, or break my new found success. I'd always prided myself on my ability to control my emotions and make sound decisions, but when she smiled at me, that dimple captured my soul. I was lost in those warm, chocolate eyes. I gravitated toward her as if I was aimlessly adrift in outer space with no control over my destination, helplessly being pulled into her orbit.

The birds chirped happily at the change in weather. Winter had fallen away and leaves were beginning to bloom. Mother Nature was following her script to perfection once again. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I had slowly been able to get Bo off my mind enough to work, but found her sneaking in through cracks of my consciousness whenever I let my guard down. I gripped my cup, the soothing warmth now gone as it set nearly empty in my hands. The vibration of my cell phone pulled my attention to the time. I was supposed to meet Tamsin in an hour. I took a deep breath and pushed myself up from the chair. It was a chore. I could have just sat here all day and been perfectly content.

I slipped on my favorite blue jeans, old brown boots and a sleeveless blue blouse. I hopped in the car and headed toward town. I was meeting Tamsin near the bookstore and we would spend the day browsing from one end of the historic district to the other, or where ever the wind took us.

When I pulled into the lot, she was leaning on her car tapping her watch with that smug grin of hers. She loved to give me crap. I was five minutes late on a day we had no where to be and nothing specific planned to do. She strode up as I got out.

"You're cutting into my best friend time, Lo."

She pulled me into a crushing hug, squeezing the air out of me.

"Sorry. I'll give you five extra minutes at the end of the day," I croaked out through the force of her embrace.

She let me go. "Very well, you're forgiven. I've missed you."

"Me too, Tamsin. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for being successful, just don't forget to squeeze a little time in for those of us who love you."

I smiled wide and we started walking. I was humming some song from the radio. Out of the corner of my eye I would see her stealing glances.

"What?"

"Nothing, just...something's up."

"What do you mean?"

I had no idea what she meant by that. I felt good today, nothing out of the ordinary. She stopped short and I kept going.

"You had sex."

She blurted it out loudly, freezing me in place. A few of the passerby's laughed at her outburst. The warmth spread up my cheeks with embarrassment. I stammered. Any hope I had of covering it up just went right out the window.

"Don't even, Lo. I know you better than you know yourself, besides it's been what, like a year? You were wound so tight and now your easy peasy."

"Fine. Yes, I did. Yes, it was long over due. Can we talk about something else?"

"Damn, I was kinda hoping you'd come crawling to me for a release." She winked.

"We've been there before and we are much better as friends only, you know that."

"So who was it? Anyone I know."

"Can't we talk about something else please?"

"Oh my god, you didn't."

I stopped and looked in the window of the shop nearby to detract from her question.

"You did didn't you? Lo, I can't believe you slept with her again. Now I really wish you'd come to me."

"Stop." I grabbed her arm to stop her erratic pacing. "It was just once. I needed to blow off some steam. Same as the arrangement she and I had before. It's not a relationship."

She looked at me hard. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Evony is trouble. Plus, you deserve so much better than that Lauren. You need to let someone in and stop hiding behind work and excuses for being happy."

"Mmm. I'll work on that." I rolled my eyes and started to walk once again. Bo briefly flashed through my mind, causing my stomach to flutter with just the mere thought of her.

After several hours of looking at antiques, clothes and other oddities, I was ready for a break. I was enjoying my time with Tamsin, but shopping was really the last thing I wanted to do after spending all day yesterday doing that very same thing. I just stood there as she went through rack after rack at the consignment shop.

"I'm going to hit up Lou's for a coffee. You mind?"

She stopped and looked up at me with narrowed eyes. "Isn't there a limt to how much cofffee you can drink in a day? That can't be healthy."

I smiled and shook my head. "If there is I haven't found it yet. You know how I feel about coffee."

Tamsin laughed and went back to what she was doing. "Yup, most people think work is your mistress, but I know better, it's coffee. I cant count how many times you left me in bed in favor of your true love."

It was true, I did love coffee. It was probably an addiction, but I had no desire to change. It was the one true constant in my, life besides work any way.

"Well then, I am off to see my mistress." I smirked at her and she just chuckled in response. "I'll meet you at Lou's in a few."

"Sure thing. I'm just gonna try on these pants and I'll be right over."

I walked the two blocks to my favorite little diner. They had the best coffee, good food and friendly help. Plus, I just loved the cozy sixties atmosphere. Anytime I was nearby I would find a reason to stop in and now was no different. Once I had that in my hand, I'd happily let Tamsin drag me around for another few hours.

**XXX**

I casually perused the menu at our favorite little diner downtown, Lou's. I loved their Monte Cristo. It was one of the few places that had Cherry Coke on tap with free refills, so Kenzi was beyond excited. I glanced over the top of the detailed selection of items on a laminated paper that I held gently in my hands and smiled at her. Her eyes scanned back and forth as she was mumbling to herself. Every once in a while her eyes would go wide, then she's shake her head and look at something else. It was the same thing every time. I didn't know why she always did this song and dance when she was just going to order chocolate chip pancakes with a scoop of ice cream on top.

I cleared my throat. There was a touch of uneasiness in the pit of my stomach ever since the dress fitting.

"So you think that was the right dress for me?"

She looked up and smiled brightly. "Hells yeah! You looked amazing, my little Bobalicious bride to be." She reached across and pinched my cheek, then fell back into her place. "The real question is why did you not look as excited as any other bride I've ever known in there?"

I put my menu down and stared at my best friend.

"What are you talking about? I'm excited, it's just alot of...stuff. And it's going really fast Kenz." I picked the menu back up, giving myself something to hide behind.

"If you're not ready then tell him."

I didn't look up.

"Bo, put that menu down and stop ignoring me. We all know you're just going to order the Monte Cristo anyway."

She reached over and pulled it away from me. I dropped my hands on the table in exasperation.

"I can't. He's so happy and it would break his heart, okay?" I threw my hands up in defeat.

I sighed hard, feeling the weight of major life decisions sitting on my chest like an elephant. Kenzi opened her mouth to speak just as Jean, our usual waitress stepped up to the table. I had to say I was relieved and hoped that her mind going back to food would change the subject. We placed our orders and smiled at Jean as she walked away. I ignored Kenzi's hard glare. I knew this was about to be one of those deep conversations that I never liked to have. Unfortunately I couldn't walk away here.

"But what about your heart?"

"I'm happy, Kenz."

"Really?" Her brows rose. She leaned forward looking me right in the eyes. She set her hands atop one another on the table and studied me carefully as she spoke in a firm tone. "Can you at least say it and try to sell it to me?"

I glared at her. My pulse quickened as if I was in a lie detector test. It suddenly seemed as though I should be in a small room with a bright light shining in my eyes.

"Look, I'll admit that with him is the happiest I have seen you, Bo but...and I mean this in the nicest way and only because I love you-"

"Spit it out Kenz." I sat back and crossed my arms in defense. I needed the extra distance between us, her eyes could be so intense when she wanted them to be and it was unnerving.

"You don't look like you're in love. Like crazy, over the moon in love."

I huffed with a frown."I don't think that's real. Have you ever actually seen that?"

Kenzi opened her mouth and I knew exactly where she was going to go so I cut her off, "Besides in films and tv"

She deflated. I let out a breath when she finally leaned back in her seat. Jean placed our beverages on the table and glanced between the two of us with a curious expression. I guess the tension was obvious and she'd seen us enough times to know better.

"Seriously, have you ever had that Kenzi?"

"No, but my Babushka did. She would light up like the fourth of July when she spoke of the love of her life, and by that, I mean vodka."

Her response broke the tension. We both laughed. I knew where my friend had gotten her love of liquor from. Somewhere deep inside though, I wanted her to be right. I wanted this passionate, spontaneous, all consuming love like the movies. It broke my heart that I couldn't say that about Ranier. Then again, I couldn't say that about anyone. He's been so good to me and I do love him, but I see the way he looks at me and I know I don't look at him in that way. Apparently even Kenzi can see that.

Even though my reaction to Lauren was nothing I'd ever experienced, that wasn't love. She was just beyond beautiful. I was spellbound. I'd probably have been the same way around a Victoria Secret model. Who wouldn't be in awe around someone like that?

"I don't know." I shook my head. "It's too ridiculous to be true to think that one person can just make you fall that fast."

She shrugged and took a sip of her cherry Coke. "Well, say what you like, but I'm a hopeless romantic. I know that one day someone will take my breath away and leave me in a drunken stupor of awe."

Kenzi picked up her phone and began to play Candy Crush. Just like that the conversation was over and relief flooded my body. I wished they served liquor here. I could definitely use a shot of the good stuff. I settled into my seat and checked out the people around us. Each table was it's own little world. There were families, lover's, singles and teens. I let my gaze drift past the window over Kenzi's shoulder. I flash of blonde caught my attention. I focused my eyes through the bright light and that's when I saw her again. Her long blonde hair glowing in the sunlight that stood out against the bright baby blue blouse she had on. That strong jawline. Oh my god! Look at those arms. She was exquisite.

"Yeah, just like that Bo. Hey wait, what are you looking at?"

"Hmm?"

"I asked, what was with the sudden mood change."

Lauren disappeared behind the edge of the glass and I quickly regained my senses. Kenzi was staring at me with her 'what the hell' expression. I bit the inside of my cheek and pushed my brows together. Could I really be that obvious? Maybe it's just because she knew me so well.

"There's no mood change."

"I would have to argue that there was a drastic mood change."

She swung around in her seat and scanned the room. Finding no one of interest, she spun back around. She watched me carefully as she took the straw in her mouth and sucked down her soda.

As luck would have it, Lauren pushed through the door of the diner. My heart pounded in my chest and my palms began to dampen. I didn't understand these feelings, but I had to look away. I didn't want Kenzi to pick up on anything. I would never hear the end of it. There was an old glass advertisement on the wall across the room. I was able to watch her through the reflection. She stepped to the counter and placed her order. I heard the diner door open again, but I never pulled my eyes from the reflection. Another, slightly taller blonde walked beside her and nudged her shoulder. Lauren turned toward her laughing and nudged her back playfully. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but a twinge of pain shot through my chest that someone else was close to her. I looked down at my hands. I picked at my nails nervously. Of course, Kenz would catch that.

"Okay, now I know something is up. What's going on."

"It's the designer, Lauren. The one that's redoing the house."

"Where? Why are you all fidgety?"

"At the counter ordering."

"Which one?"

"The shorter blonde."

"Hmm, great hair, nice arms and damn can she wear a pair of pants. Wait a minute..."

She trailed off and I knew it was only a matter of time before my inquisitive friend put the pieces of the last few minutes together.

**XXX**

Stepping inside was almost like going back in time. I walked through the door and took in the wonderful aroma of their fresh brewed best. I went right to the counter. I could barely wait to sink my taste buds into their new dark roast. Just like wine, coffee had distinct flavors and I always looked forward to trying new ones. They should get an "I drank my way around the world" coffee tee shirt. I smiled at my suddenly silly mood the gentleman took my order. I threw in two muffins, knowing for certain that my friend would be stealing most of mine if I didn't get her one of her own. I set my things on the counter while I waited. I peeked into the bag of small trinkets I purchased at the antique shop. The man folded over the top of the brown bag and set it in front of me. A shoulder pushed into mine, shoving me slightly off balance.

Tamsin whispered, "I know you're going to let me have some of that muffin."

I laughed and nudged her back. "Always trying get my muffin, huh?"

She winked and grabbed the bag. "You know it. It's the best muffin in town."

I swiped my card and paid for the items. "You can eat your own muffin Tam, I got one just for you."

I smiled as she pouted playfully.

"Won't be as much fun as eating your muffin, but thanks."

"Some would say that it's nice to get any muffin at all."

"Are we really still talking about muffins, because now I'm just getting horny."

"Only you Tam."

I shook my head and chuckled. I picked up my coffee and belongings and turned to leave when I heard a voice call out. It sounded like my name. I turned toward the sound of the voice and there she was. My breath hitched. She punched her friend in the shoulder then looked up at me. Her face dropped into an expression of horror. Even from here I could see the embarrassed blush crawl up her neck. She forced a smile at me. My chest thumped hard at the sight of her. I'd spent the last few days getting her out of my mind and there she was again. She was just as stunning. I couldn't really ignore her now that we had seen one another. I wanted so much to speak to her, but I was scared to death to speak to her. I was frozen in place for what seemed like hours. Tamsin slid in beside me. I could feel her lean in trying to figure out what I was doing.

"Hey Lo, you ready? You know I like my muffins hot." She laughed at herself. "And yes, I mean that in everyway possible."

I swallowed hard and looked at her. The look on her face told me she could tell something was going on in my mind. She turned the direction I had been looking and caught Bo as she cast her eyes down to the table quickly.

"Oh I see. Someone you know, or someone you'd like to know?"

"Um, she's the fiancé of my new client. I met her last week."

"Interesting. She seems like she's into you. You going to talk to her?"

"I don't know. I mean, she's a client, I really should say hello."

"Well, go say hello. Go say more than hello. I'll be outside enjoying this delicious morsel."

She held up the bag and walked away with a grin. I would be getting grilled later, that was for sure. I glanced back at Bo. She lifted her eyes carefully afraid of being caught looking. I took a deep breath. My stomach was in knots as I willed my stubborn feet to move her direction. I stopped next to her table. Her friend was overly giddy and I could only surmise that I had somehow come up in conversation since Bo was not the voice I heard call out. The idea that Bo told someone about me was exciting, yet incredibly nerve wracking.

"Hello Bo." My voice was soft and shaky.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her eyes never left mine.

"Hey there, Lauren."

She sounded just as cautious as I did.

"Hi, I'm Kenzi, Bo's bestie."

The Goth-looking girl with dark hair and piercing blue eyes held out her hand. There was something very intimidating about her even though she was being polite. I shifted my coffee and belongings to the other hand and accepted her greeting.

"Nice to meet you Kenzi."

I smiled at her then turned my gaze back to Bo who looked like she might devour me. I shivered under her gaze. I held the coffee in both hands to busy myself, tucking my things under my elbow haphazardly.

"I'll be by on Thursday with some samples for you."

"Oh, um, okay. That sounds great."

I wasn't sure if it was the fact that her friend was there, or that Tamsin was waiting outside, but I was extremely uncomfortable. The thing that should make me uncomfortable was the fact that I seemed to have a thing for my clients fiancé, yet that was the farthest thing from my mind.

"Oh, um, if it's all right, I'd like to email you some color choices to narrow down what I bring over."

She shrugged. "Sure that would be fine. Do you have my email address?"

"No, I don't think so."

I set my coffee on the table and fumbled through my purse while trying to keep my bag tucked under my arm. The pen fell to the floor along with some cards. "Shit," I whispered under my breath as I dropped down to recover the fallen items. I felt so clumsy and off my game around her. I was in the middle of chastisinfg myself when she bent to help me. I tilted my head up, she was inches away from my face, her lips close I could almost taste them. I licked my lips without thinking and I saw her blush.

"Let me help you."

I stared at her mouth as she spoke.

"It's all right. I've got it," I mumbled incoherently. I was stuck in a trance as her breath hit my skin.

My hand went for the pen just as hers did. We both grabbed it the same time, her warm hand covered mine. I froze and gazed into her eyes seeing a need in them I didn't want to admit to myself. Regaining my senses I pulled the pen out from under her, grabbed my things and stood back up. Kenzi was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I knew her friend had picked up on the tension between us and I felt the immediate need to escape the situation.

Bo took the pen and scribbled the email on a napkin and slid it towards me. She clasped her hands and looked at them. It was obvious she was trying to collect herself just as I was. I hated the feeling of being naked and vulnerable in front of a stranger.

"Thanks. I should get back," I motioned over my shoulder awkwardly. "I hope you two have a wonderful day."

I forced a small smile and glanced between them, meeting Bo's eyes once again before I left.

"You, too. See you Thursday, Lauren."

Her smile reached her eyes. For a moment I was in a trance as the dimple appeared from nowhere. I nodded blankly and walked away. I saw Tamsin watching us intently through the window as I crossed the floor to the exit. I wanted to look back at her one more time as I pushed the door open, but I didn't. I wouldn't let myself. I couldn't let myself indulge in such fantasies. I didn't break up couples and I certainly wasn't an experiment for a straight girl looking for a last fling before marriage. I had to put a stop to whatever this was between Bo and I had to do it soon.

**XXX**

**I loved all the reviews so far, so please keep'em coming :D**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Seems we are off and running here. Than you to everyone who takes the time to read, review, follow, fav and tweet. It motivates me to give you guys more. I hope to not keep you waiting too long between updates. Also, rest assured that my collab with Syd "Things I shouldn't..." has not been forgotten. It is in the works and we appreciate your patience :)  
**_

**Chapter 4**

I walked down the street hearing nothing but my own silence despite the noises of the city around me. My hands gripped the coffee that I had yet to take sip of as I analyzed my latest response to my new client.

"Lo, wait up," Tamsin yelled from behind.

I didn't even realize I'd left her. The faint sound of quickening footsteps caused me to stop. I looked at all the people milling aimlessly around me until I froze at the sight of my reflection in the shop window. The blank expression on my face pulled my mind out of the haze left from my encounter with Bo. I read the name of the shop in front of me on the glass. This was the direction we just came from. I turned on my heel to start back the other way and nearly slammed into Tamsin.

"Shit!"

I dropped my bag, but managed to save spilling the coffee onto us. A small miracle, for which I was more than grateful. As much as I loved this shirt, I really needed the coffee right now.

"What the hell, Lauren?"

"Oh, um...I'm sorry Tamsin." I was struggling for words to explain myself as I picked up my bag. I stood back up, settling the items in my hands and averted her intensely questioning gaze by looking up the street. "I guess I went the wrong way."

I began to walk, leaving her behind once again.

She trotted up beside me. I could feel her eyes burning into me, demanding an explanation. I just kept walking and pretended that nothing happened.

"I wanted to hop into the curtain store for a minute. I have idea for a client."

I forced a tight smile and glanced quickly at her. I didn't really want to, I had taken care of it yesterday, but I was hoping to move past the awkwardness of the moment.

She pulled on my elbow hard enough to stop my momentum. I sighed hard. It was time for the inquisition. I turned to face her fully. Her eyes were softer, but pleading for honesty. It was an unusual look for her. I was used to the forceful, yet concerned bitchiness that was her trademark. The change caught me by surprise. I tensed my brows together, any attempt at looking relaxed was failing miserably.

"Lauren, what's going on? You look completely freaked."

"Nothing, I'm fine." I huffed and tried to brush it off. I finally sipped my coffee, staring at her over the brim of the cup. Damn, that was good. I closed my eyes and moaned lowly as I savored the flavor.

"Enough of the coffee sex." Tamsin's tone was one that demanded my attention.

My eyes snapped open and I chuckled. She always came up with the weirdest things.

"The what?"

She folded her arms across her chest. People bustled past quickly, a few groaning at us for blocking the sidewalk. This was not a place to have a conversation, but her body language said we weren't going anywhere without a reasonable explanation.

"Oh no you don't Lauren. No changing the subject. You are a terrible liar. You know I have a bullshit detector and right now that thing is going off louder than a five alarm fire. What's with you and the brunette bombshell back there?"

I swallowed hard. "That's um, Bo. Her and her fiancé are my newest clients."

"And?"

She raised her brow indicating she was waiting for the rest of the story.

"And what?"

"And, I saw you through the window Lo. You two practically made babies with just your eyes."

"We did not," the pitch of my voice climbed like a teenage girl, doing nothing to help my case. "And where do you come up with these sayings?"

"What? It's a thing, look it up," she shrugged. "Back to you, you've got a thing for her. I mean why not, right? She's hot. Not as hot as me, but she's pretty damn hot."

"Yes, she's beautiful and so are you, but she's my client. A client who is also engaged to a man, a very powerful man. That's it. Nothing more."

That was my new mantra. I would repeat over and over again until this job was done. I would not let my libido get me in the middle of a domestic dispute no matter how unbelievably hot she was, or how my body reacted to being near her. Dammitt! She is my client who is engaged. Nothing more.

"Interesting. Hard to tell she was engaged with the way she looked at you. Even from a distance I thought she was going to pounce on you."

"Really?"

I shot my brows up at this revelation. Did Bo really feel the same attraction to me that I did to her? Worse yet, if Tamsin noticed, then Bo's friend definitely noticed it, too. I groaned. This was bad, very bad.

"Ah ha! I knew it? You are into her. When did you meet her?"

"Tamsin," I whined. "Can't we talk about something else?"

"We could, but that would be boring. Come on spill."

"There's nothing to spill." I started walking again. She pulled up beside me matching my pace. "Her fiance contacted the office about a job. Saturday I went over there to discuss a few ideas, that's when I met Bo. She loved my plans, so did Rainer. He hired me on the spot. I have a new client. The end."

"A new smokin hot client." She laughed and did a little skip.

"A new engaged client," I reminded her with a tight smile.

"So you met her Saturday. Today is Monday. You had sex since I saw you at lunch Friday. Oh, I totally get it now."

"Get what?"

"You met Bo and got all hot and bothered. Then you probably went to bury yourself in work the way you always do and guess who just happened to be in the right place at the right time? Evony, lucky bitch. So you took out your sexual frustration on her. God, why couldn't it have been me?"

I shook my head. "That was not what happened." She looked at me flatly. It was a lie and she of course knew it. She had already put it all together with little to nothing from me. "Okay, that's exactly what happened. Yes, I got a little worked up meeting Bo. It had been a long time alright? "

"Don't I know it."

"I can't believe you put that all together. I can't keep any secrets from you can I?"

"It's what I do."

"No it's not. You're in sales, not detective work."

"Maybe, but one thing I know for sure is the look one gets when they really want something. I also know the look they get when they really want it and don't want anyone to know they want it. You, my dear Lauren, want it."

"Well, wanting and having are two different things. No point in torturing myself."

"Good luck with that. So, who's the fiance?"

"Rainer Van Allen."

She stopped on a dime. I turned to see her jaw agape, staring at me.

"Of the Van Allen Corporation?"

"One and the same."

"Damn. That's quite the pickle you're in, Lo. Kudos for landing the big one. That's a great opportunity for you."

"Thank you and there will be no pickle. I will do the job like the professional that I am and move on just as I always do."

"If you say so, but maybe you should take someone with you when you go to the house from now on. You know, to reduce the temptation."

That would be a good idea. Evony didn't usually go with me, but given her penchant for mingling with the high and mighties, this might just be right up her alley.

"I'll think about it. Can we go now?"

"Yeah, sure."

We began walking once again. This street felt like it would never end.

"What does Bo do for a living, besides Rainer?"

She smirked and chuckled at her own joke. I didn't find it funny. Actually, a pang of jealousy shot through me knowing that he was with her in that way. I let out a hard breath.

"I don't know actually. Probably nothing. None of the women in that family work from what I hear. Seems to be an alpha male thing."

"That sounds boring. Just keeping the men happy at home and performing all the socialite duties. Bo doesn't really look like she fits that mold."

"No she doesn't."

I had the feeling that there was a whole lot more to Bo than than being engaged to the heir of a billion dollar empire. As much as I needed to step carefully on this one, I could feel myself slipping further into the abyss with every passing thought of her. I knew I was in a world of trouble.

**XXX**

I watched Lauren walk out of the diner, my body still thrumming with unexpected sensations from being so close to her. Part of me hoped she would look back, but she didn't. She blew past the window again, the other blonde quickly behind her. My heart clenched watching someone else interact intimately with her like they were at the counter. I had no right to be jealous, no claim to her, but I found myself wishing that I was the one running to catch up and spend the rest of the day with her. I couldn't understand the way I reacted around Lauren. I wanted nothing more than to spend every minute learning all the things she liked, or disliked, what her dreams were and how I could fit into them. It was like a switch had been flipped inside of me. One that had never been turned on before, but she found it. I'd never so taken with anyone in my life. From the first moment I laid eyes on her there was an energy between us. It was even palpable when our hands met, skin to skin, the electricity that permeated every cell in my body.

I never even noticed that the food had been dropped off until the sound of Kenzi moaning drew my attention. She rolled her eyes in delight as she chewed. She slowly pulled the spoon from her mouth, enjoying every ounce of the sweet heavenly goodness that had been delivered to our table. I laughed and shook my head. Every week it was the same and I secretly hoped that it would never change.

"That good huh Kenz?"

"I could say the same to you," she said casually as she shoveled another huge bite into her mouth.

"Huh?"

Kenzi rolled her eyes and grinned wide while she choked down her food. "Puh-lease, you were drooling over her the same way I drool over this decadent little dish before me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

My chest tightened knowing I'd been caught. I picked up the butter knife and busied myself with spreading the jam on my sandwich.

"Whatev. All I'm saying is that there was some serious sparkage between you two. She couldn't take her eyes off of you."

"Do you really think so? I mean I feel different when I'm around her."

Different was one word for it. Alive was a better word. Consumed might even apply. I became all to aware of her every nuance when she was in the room. The way she furrowed her brow when she was looking at samples, nibbled on her lip when she was deep in thought and the sparkle in her eye when she looked at me. The world stopped when she smiled at me.

"You mean something besides horny?"

She snorted through her laughter.

"Hardy har." I wasn't amused and she could tell from the look I shot her.

Seriously though BoBo, what's the deal? You're getting married soon to a guy you say you love, but from what I just saw, you are way more into her than you ever were him."

"Are you sure you're not moving too fast? Maybe forcing yourself into it just because he treats you well and he's fun?"

"He's more than that."

"Really?"

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Look," she propped her elbows up on the table and waved her fork around as she spoke. "I'm not saying you need to do anything drastic. I just want you to be happy, Really, truly happy, with whoever it is. Something is going on with you and I don't want you to do something you'll regret later. If you need to talk about it, I'm here for you."

"Thanks Kenz. I'm glad I have you in my corner."

"Always. Now eat up. You promised me cake tasting today."

**XXX**

I was excited when I received Lauren's email. Even though it was strictly professional, my stomach fluttered as I laid in bed and scrolled through the message on my tablet. We were to pick out three choices from the color pallet she showed us and let her know. She would bring the rest of the pieces with her Thursday. I cringed at the idea of waiting a few more days to see her. Everything inside of me was screaming to see her sooner. I could stop by her office instead and let her know our decision. Yeah, that was a good idea. It was business and I would find a reason to be in the area. I patted myself on the back at my quickly conceived plan.

Rainer turned off the bathroom light and climbed into bed beside me. He placed soft kisses on my shoulder. I wanted to pull away, somehow feeling like I was cheating on her even though I was soon to be married to him. Kenzi's words echoed in my head as I looked at the man I was soon to marry. With him it was comfortable, he took care of me. He was handsome and strong and we were good together, but I never felt that insane magnetism like I did with her. She makes me feel things, things that defied explanation.

"What are you reading?"

I snapped back to the present and the feel of his body against mine. "Oh, the designer sent me an email." It came out almost robotic, an overcompensation for the confusing mix of emotions overwhelming me at the moment. "We need to pick a three colors for her before she gets here Thursday."

"Great. I'll let you choose. It really doesn't matter to me, just nothing wild. I have a busy week anyway."

His hand slipped under my tank, slid across my stomach and pulled me in close against him. His hands were big and forceful. I wondered how Lauren's would feel on my skin. Would they be as soft and tender as I imagined?

"Um, okay. I can do that. I'll be pretty busy myself at work," I mumbled, flipping through a few other emails.

"Not for much longer. As soon as we are married you'll have other matters to tend to."

He kissed his way up my neck, but I pulled away and met his eyes. I was suddenly more interested in the rest of what he had to say. We hadn't really spoke about anything changing after we were married and I was a little bit offended that he just assumed I would drop everything for him.

"I like my job. I like to work."

"Bo," he sat up and looked me in the eye. His hand ran up and down my arm. "The women in the Van Allen family don't have jobs in the classic sense. Besides, you won't need the money and we want to start a family right away anyway, right?"

"I'm not quitting my job, Rainer." I glared at him hard. "I understand what you're saying, but I enjoy contributing my part and being productive. I don't want to just use your money. I never wanted you for your money. I know being the general manager of Neiman Marcus isn't as prestigious as CEO of Van Allen Corporation, but I've worked hard to get where I am."

He pulled his hand away and pushed himself up against the headboard. He sat in silence just staring at the wall. The seconds felt like hours until he finally spoke.

"I never said your job wasn't important, but this is the way it's always been in my family."

He glanced back at me.

"It's the twenty first century Rainer. Maybe it's time things change a little."

We stared at one another, neither of us saying another word. He turned off the light on his side of the bed and settled in for the night.

I felt completely out of control for the first time in my life. This whole wedding and my relationship with Rainer was like a carousel going a million miles an hour. I was dizzy. Then there was Lauren and everything seemed right in her presence. Our two encounters left me contemplating how I'd gotten myself into such a mess.

**XXX**

My mind wasn't on my work at all. Last night with Rainer had opened up a whole new can of worms to work through. Seemed we had two different ideas of our life after we said 'I do.' I kept drifting back to her. I wanted to see Lauren again. I Googled her office. It wasn't far from my store. I could take lunch and head over there. I picked up my phone and called her office. A young man answered the phone very professionally and explained that she wouldn't be in until one.

I groaned. That was three hours away. I thanked him and went back to wading through page after page of end of the month sales reports and purchase orders. This was my least favorite part of the job. Maybe being a stay at home wife had it's benefits. I mean, most people would jump at the chance to quit working and live the life or royalty.

I had come from humble beginnings. Most people never thought I'd amount to anything, but I believed. Then I met Kenzi. Having a true friend in my corner to root for me when things got bad gave me the courage to keep going. I started as a make-up counter clerk and worked my way up. I now run the highest grossing store in the state. Maybe six figures is chump change to Rainer's family, but I have a lot of pride in what I have accomplished and I'm not so keen on giving it all away for someone else. Anything could happen and even though I would still be set if we divorced according to the pre-nup, I refused to become someone else for them.

I set the last report aside and felt a grumble of hunger in my belly. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I had finished my work. I looked at the clock, it was twelve thirty. I snuck out to the food court and grabbed a sandwich, wanting to save my entire lunch hour to see Lauren. When I arrived back at my office to get my purse and keys it was ten till one. It would be a little after one by the time I got to her office.

When I climbed into my car, my nerves began to hum with the anticipation of seeing her again. My palms were beginning to sweat and my pulse was already racing as I stepped hard on the gas pedal and sped off toward Lauren.

I pulled up outside the office. It was an old Victorian style home that was landscaped and detailed perfectly, as one would expect of a designer. Her black Mercedes suv was parked beside the building. I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath. I pulled the list of colors from my purse and climbed out of the car. Looking around I saw no one. There were no other cars in the lot and not much traffic. I smoothed down my blouse and pants, taking a last look in the car mirror before I strode as confidently as possible to the door.

The bell rung as I opened the door. She called out from the back that she would be right there. There was no one else in there. I didn't say anything, just stood there fidgeting nervously. It was crazy the effect she had on me without even being in the same room. I saw her before she saw me. My stomach was doing flip flops and I suddenly wished I hadn't eaten lunch. Her eyes met mine and she stopped in her tracks. She was mesmerizing in her fitted grey slacks and black pressed button down with long golden locks flowing over her shoulders.

"Bo?"

Her voice was soft. It made my heart skip a beat the way my name rolled off her tongue. She looked confused. Probably because I was rooted in place, staring at her with my jaw dropped open. I shook my head, closed my mouth and straightened up. I smiled softly and walked to the counter next to her. Her eyes watched my every move and swallowed hard when I stopped a few feet away and leaned on the cold marble top.

"Hi. I uh, I work just down the road so I figured I'd drop off the colors in person. I hope that's alright."

I pulled out the paper list. I could see the instant change in her demeanor as she slipped into the facade she had worn with Rainer. My heart crumbled a little. She felt distant. It was not at all what I had built up in my head, but then again, what could I really have expected her to do? I was fighting the urge to do what I really wanted to do, sweep her up into my arms and kiss her with every ounce of passion that I had in me.

"Of course."

She smiled, but I could tell it was forced. She was stiff when she stepped forward and held out her hand. I handed her the list. Her eyes never left mine. There was a flicker of the fire I had seen before in her eyes. It was quick, but I noticed. She shifted her weight uncomfortably as she read over my three color choices. I felt my confidence soar seeing that I did indeed have the same effect on her.

"These are great choices, Bo. I will put together the rest and bring it all over for you Thursday to see on your own walls."

She was anxious to get rid of me, but I had no intention of leaving so soon.

"Is there anything you could show me now? I mean, since I'm here."

"Sure. Of course, just give me a minute. I wasn't expecting you."

"No problem. Take your time."

I strolled around looking at various samples and magazine articles. I made note of a few that mentioned her to look up later.

"So, how long have you been doing this, Lauren?"

She sorted through various things in different piles. It all seemed so organizedly disorganized, if that made any sense.

"About ten years. I worked for a few other designers and then went out on my own about five years ago with the help of my business partner."

She spoke while she searched for whatever it was she was looking for. I kind of felt, though, that it was more of a distraction for her than anything else. I grew tired of her hiding on the other side of the office. The ever growing need to be closer to her pulled me across the room. She looked up finally, her mouth open ready to speak. She jumped slightly when she saw me right in front of her. Her conflicted feelings were evident. I could feel her hesitation coming. I smiled softly and looked deep into her light brown eyes. My body tingled when her eyes began to sparkle. A light blush tinged her cheeks as a shy smile pulled at her lips. She rolled her eyes and looked away.

I leaned across the table on my elbows. I gave myself a mental pat on the back for wearing the blouse that showed off my girls a little more than usual today. It wasn't planned, but then again, my subconscious seemed to have it's own agenda when it came to Lauren. She placed a few patterns and moldings in front of me and walked around to my side of the table. I didn't much care what she did to the house, but I did my best to be interested while watching her in my periphery. What I was more concerned with was the way she kept shifting her weight nervously as she slowly inched closer to me. The anticipation was killing me. I so wanted to touch her. Several agonizing minutes passed until she was close enough to feel her body heat through our clothes. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath as I struggled for control. Her trepidation was just as evident as spoke about her plan. Every once in a while her voice would tremble when she brushed against me.

I couldn't take this anymore. I covered her hand with my own. Her eyes grew wide at the contact. She froze, unsure what my intentions were.

"Lauren."

She didn't answer. Her gaze was transfixed on our hands.

"Lauren. Look at me."

I kept my voice soft and steady, pushing my own apprehension aside. I was desperate to see what we had, where this could go. Slowly, her eyes drifted to mine. They looked down at my mouth then back up. She swallowed hard, but still hadn't said a word. She tried to pull her hand back, but I squeezed it tight, keeping it in my own. I stepped into her space, my heart pounded so hard I thought it would break through my chest. I'd never felt anything like this before. Our faces were so close I could feel her warm breath on my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. I leaned in, allowing my lips to lightly brush across hers. Her breath hitched. I was lost in her eyes. I pressed forward, needing to satisfy the raging desire that's been coursing through my veins since I first met her, but she pulled away.

"Bo, I can't. We can't," she whispered. She closed her eyes and cut off our connection.

I was breathing heavily, barely able to form words after the rug was pulled out from under me.

"Lauren, I-"

My phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket and glanced at the screen. There was Rainer's name in white letters. I know she saw it, too. She removed herself from my hold.

"You should probably call your fiance."

Her voice was low and full of sadness. She forced a half smile and walked away from me. Just like that, the moment was lost.

**XXX**

**So close... what do you think will happen next? Let me hear it!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Got a few new ideas for coming chapters thanks to Leah. Sometimes just a chat can get the creative juices flowing. Thanks Leah. Hope you guys enjoy this update._**

**Chapter 5**

It'd been two days and my body was still reacting to the memory of Bo's lips brushing against mine. The simple act had electrified my entire body and even now my skin would still flush, goosebumps would trail up my neck when I thought of it. I avoided her phone calls, letting Phillip cover for me as being very busy. I was going to see her Thursday, there was no avoiding it, but until then, I needed to keep my distance. Whatever was going on between us was dangerously close to spinning of of control whenever I was around her.

I sipped my red wine on the back deck and watched the sunset. I loved the colors of dusk and the silence that came with night as the bustling of a busy day came to an end. The calm gave me time to work through my own frustrations, those being a persistent, stunning brunette named Bo. I was wound so tight, stuck at a standstill like a racer spinning their wheels in wait of the green flag. I couldn't act on my urges and I couldn't get them out of my head. The fantasies were a blessing, a beautiful, delicious blessing, but the reality was a curse.

Luckily I was able to sell Evony on going with me. She protested at first, saying I was the designer and she didn't do house calls. I knew how to tempt her though. She was the silent partner, in charge of marketing and money. There was no better opportunity to grow our business than to get in good with one of the wealthiest family's in the country. When I put it that way, she was suddenly all to happy to accompany me.

My phone rang. I didn't want to answer it. Tamsin's name was on the display and she knew I'd be home by now. Not answering her call now was just me begging for a lecture later. I picked it up on the third ring, my tone was one of agitation, matching the way I felt at the moment.

_"Whoa, easy Lo, someone needs to get laid again. I know someone that would happily take care of that for you."_

"Tamsin, do I have to remind you of how we-"

_"I wasn't talking about me, but it's nice that you always think of me first."_

I could hear her smirk through the phone. She could be so damn frustrating. I was worse off than I thought. Merely the insinuation of sex with Bo made me ache in all the intimate places. I sighed.

"Not going to happen. You know that's a bad idea for every one."

Yes, a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. She's just a client. I'd never had to fight my urges this hard before. It was exhausting. Maybe it was some kind of thirty something hormone kick. I could hope anyway, but somehow I knew it was more.

_"So you have your safety blanket going with you tomorrow then?"_

I laughed. "Yes and don't worry, I won't be going there again."

_"Hmph. We'll see, but I hope not. Anyway, I'm coming over, got your favorite wine in my hand."_

"No, not tonight Tam."

_"Too late. I'm on your doorstep."_

I groaned and hung up the phone. I walked to the front and swung the door open hard.

"Took you long enough."

I was mentally spent and it was taking a toll on me physically too. I sighed in exhaustion.

"Why didn't you just come in if you were there? You have a key."

"Eh," she shrugged. "This was more fun. Plus, I knew you'd be in your sacred head space? I felt it better to give you warning."

"Well it was nice of you to be so considerate," I said sarcastically.

Her usual smug grin was pissing me off, a sure sign that the three quarters of a bottle of wine were beginning to take effect. I walked away, leaving her standing with her wine in my doorway.

She shut the door behind her and followed me onto the deck, making a brief stop in the kitchen to grab a glass.

"So, do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

I took a large swig of the deep, red, soothing liquid.

"Okay, it's just the other night you were all flustered on the phone and then I hadn't heard from you since. Something's going on."

"Nothing's going on."

"Then why don't we talk about what you'd like to have going on?"

"Why do we have to talk at all? Maybe I just want wine and quiet?"

"Because, Lauren, you're my best friend, I love you and you seem like you're about to go off the deep end. I've never seen you like this and frankly, I'm a little bit concerned."

I paused mid-motion, the glass barely touching my lips, the sweet aroma of the drink penetrating my senses. The look she was giving me was nothing but honest. Had I really fallen off the cliff over this woman, this virtual stranger? What was Bo even thinking? Was it some kind of game to her, or was she a victim of the riptide of forbidden desire the same as I? Were we both being pulled helplessly under no matter how hard we fought, until there was no return?

I swallowed hard and pulled away from her gaze.

"Um, okay. Sorry...just, I'm at a loss, Tam."

I really was. Acting on these urges was almost a no win situation for me. I could win the girl and ruin my business, or I could lose both and end up a complete fool. Neither sounded appealing. I'd always made sound, logical choices, but I was never one to ignore my gut when it came to passionate decisions. I tilted my head slightly and watched her out of the corner of my eye. I chuckled at the silliness of it all and finished off my glass of wine. I glanced up through my lashes and met her eyes as I poured a refill.

"I think we both know what I'd like to see happen."

**XXX**

I paced the house nervously. It was entirely possible I'd wear a path around this pecan hardwood flooring before Lauren arrived. It was nearly time and every minute closer it became that much harder to breath. I was worried because of what almost happened the last time we met and the fact that she has avoided me like the plague ever since.

I couldn't blame her though. I admit I was a bit hurt with the way our last visit ended, but after talking with Kenzi, I realized that Lauren had a lot to lose. Far more than I. Then, there's the thing where I'm about the get married and I'm making moves on a woman I just met. She might be just as confused as I was. I also knew that her and I were caught in the same powerful magnetic pull that made it impossible to stay apart when we were in the same room.

I couldn't explain what was going on with me. I wasn't sure how this would all play out, but I knew there was a high probability that someone would get hurt and I really didn't want it to be her. I wanted her beyond comprehension, not just physically, but all of her.

The sound of the car door slamming outside caused me to flinch. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled on it to the point of slight pain. I hoped that it would help me regain my senses before she waltzed back in and unknowingly made me her slave again.

One ring of the doorbell had me running my hands down my blouse and straightening my posture. I plastered a huge smile on my face. It wasn't fake by any means. I really wanted to see her, but inside I felt like a shy little girl, in awe of her and not at all as confident as I was struggling to portray.

I opened the door and that forced smile faltered at the sight of another woman with her. I'd not seen this one before, she wasn't the one from the diner. The elegant looking, dark haired woman smiled brightly, her eyes lighting up as she looked past me into the giant castle of a home.

"Hello, Bo." Lauren smiled as she spoke. "This is Evony Marquise. She is my business partner."

There was a slight hesitation in her voice, subtle, but I caught it. It was almost as if she wanted to be sure I understood their relationship.

I tore my eyes from Lauren and glanced at Evony. I took her hand and smiled, offering the usual greetings. There was no electricity when we touched. She was beautiful, I couldn't deny that, but nothing, no spark. I took a sharp breath, the reality that what I had experienced with Lauren truly was special. Had it happened with Evony as well, I would've had to take a good hard look at what the hell was going on, but now...now I felt almost vindicated in my sudden obsession with the beautiful designer.

I ushered them inside and up to the island. Lauren quickly went to work, silently pulling out all her samples while Evony glanced around the room taking in all the smallest details. She looked impressed as she commented on a few things in the room. I honestly didn't know much about them, nor did I care.

Lauren didn't look anywhere but down. I wished she'd give me even the smallest glance, the tiniest acknowledgement that wasn't dictated by etiquette. I realized that I was staring. I turned my attention to Evony.

"Would you like a tour while Lauren works her magic?"

I smiled at Evony and looked Lauren's way, but still nothing. Not even a grin.

"That would be wonderful. You have an absolutely beautiful home."

"Thank you, but it's not mine."

"Not yet," She winked.

I felt a little uncomfortable. I didn't think I'd ever feel like any of his family's things were mine. I smiled tightly and nodded.

"Bo is a unique name."

There was no hint of arrogance in her comment like I would sometimes get from friends of the Van Allen's. The woman seemed genuine enough. I could tell she was completely comfortable in her own skin and her abilities to handle the pomp and circumstance that came with dealing with power families.

"Actually, it's short for Ysabeau, after my grandmother."

"Well that is a beautiful name and if I may say so, extremely fitting for a woman of your charm."

It wasn't the first time I'd heard it, but the statement was sincere, as was her smile when she looked at me. I could tell she was still going to schmooze me hard as the day progressed. I guess I'd have to get accustomed to this sort of behavior. People of Rainer's family's stature were used to being told how amazing they were, even when they were complete assholes.

Just before I left the room I glanced over my shoulder. There they were, those soft brown eyes that seemed as though they were looking right into my soul. There was so much going on behind those eyes and it was more than lust. There was sadness, longing, hope and it shook me to my core. Just like that I was lost in them again. Then she looked away, shifting uncomfortably and burying her head in sketches. I immediately felt the emptiness she left behind. I took a moment to mourn the loss, then began to show Evony around.

It took about fifteen minutes to give the grand tour of the living space. We returned to the room we left Lauren at to find her taping samples to the walls. She didn't seem to notice us. Evony smiled in amazement, like watching Lauren was some kind of an eighth wonder, or something.

She leaned in and whispered to me, "She is amazing. The way her brain works is phenomenal, almost like an idiot savant of design, or something."

She laughed lightly. I remained quiet, choosing only to nod in agreement so as not to distract from Lauren's thought process.

Evony continued, "She's a genius level IQ, did you know that?"

I shook my head. I was certain the surprise was all over my face. I looked at Evony to see if she was kidding, but she looked dead serious.

"It's true. I've known her since we were seniors in high school. She had perfect SAT, MCAT, ACT and any other AT test you could take. She was planning to be a doctor."

As if the rest wasn't interesting enough, now I was really curious. I whispered, "What happened?"

"Lauren," Evony called out. It was unexpected amid the silence causing both me and Lauren to flinch. "You didn't tell Bo why you choose design?"

"Hmm?" She stopped mid-thought and bit down on her pencil. She was unbelievably sexy when she creased her brow, almost agitated that the mood had been broken. "Oh, um, we haven't really had a chance to get into it."

She went right back to what she was doing. She was in her zone and I was content to just sit back and watch, but Evony had other plans.

"Well?"

Lauren sighed and dropped her hands to her side. She spun around and placed a hand on her hip.

"Evony, I was kind of in the moment here."

"Oh honey, it only takes a minute, besides, isn't it time you explained some of that jigsaw puzzle you have taped up there so Bo can get a better idea of what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?"

Lauren frowned. Her eyes darted from Evony to me, then back. She rolled her eyes and relented unhappily, waving us over. I could tell she was one of those that could get lost in their work for hours. Someone would have to rescue her from herself so that she would eat, or sleep. I admired that kind of passion for anything. I wondered if she could get lost in me like that.

"Sorry Bo, I just get on a roll."

"Really no need to apologize. It's refreshing to see that kind of passion."

She blushed and allowed a small smile to grace her lips. Evony gave us a curious look. Lauren noticed and brought us back to task.

"So to answer the question, I have always loved art and design, as well as science. I am fortunate to be gifted in many things. I was headed to Yale for pre-med until a friend of mine was renovating her home. I happened to stop by one day, gave her a few ideas which she went crazy for and I fell in love with it immediately."

"That was all it took to change from pre-med?"

"Well, truthfully, I was never keen on the blood, but my mind loved the challenge of a new puzzle with each patient. Design gives me the same challenge, sans the gore."

"Got it. No gore. That is a definite plus, a total game changer."

For the first time it felt easy between us. The tension faded and she let go of an easy smile that lit me up inside. I was happy Evony had found something more interesting to look at. It allowed us an honest moment alone. I smiled back. She cleared her throat and began to go through what she had set up, letting me pick what I did and didn't like out of the ones she suggested. We kept our distance. It wasn't easy with the images of Lauren in a white doctor coat, or scrubs running wild in my imagination.

After a few moments the other woman was by our side once again.

"If you would excuse me, I'm going to step outside and make a call."

"Oh, if you'd like you can sit out by the pool."

"Thank you, that would be perfect."

I led her out to the pool area and had the maid bring her a beverage. I may as well practice my hosting skills while I was at it.

I stepped back into the room and leaned back on the edge of the table. We were alone again. There was so much I wanted to say. I didn't want to scare her off or bring back the tension, but I did feel the need to apologize for being so forward the other day. I was certain that Evony was serving as a buffer more than anything else and I knew it was my fault she felt uncomfortable.

"Lauren, I'm sorry about the other day. It was bad judgement on my part. I never meant to make you uncomfortable."

She stopped what she was doing and dropped her head. She didn't let me see her expression when she spoke.

"Bo, let's just forget about it. Whatever we were going to do, can never happen. It's not right."

I found it unsettling that I couldn't get a true read on her emotions, but she was right. I had no idea where to go from here. I was petrified. I found myself drifting away from Rainer. My body and mind only seemed to want her and she was telling me it couldn't happen. I was also afraid to ruin things with him and then have it still not work out with Lauren. It was a double edged sword that I feared I'd throw myself right onto if she gave me the sign.

She slowly started packing her things, averting her gaze. I stepped closer. I wanted to reach out to her emotionally, see if she had the same physical pain as I did from being so close and not being able to touch her. My hand extended toward her. I planned to tap her shoulder in a poor excuse for contact when Evony came back into the room. She was going on about someone and how they needed to be there by six.

Lauren raised her hand and checked her watch. She packed a little quicker. This wasn't going well for me. I was no closer to her, or figuring out how to solve my problem.

The front door opened and Rainer appeared in the foyer. He dropped his briefcase by the wall, unbuttoned his suit jacket and made a beeline for us. He only ever looked like that when he had something on his mind. I stood frozen at the thought that maybe he had put the pieces together for my distant attitude lately.

That wasn't it. He greeted Lauren excitedly, kissed me on the cheek and turned to Evony. I saw a flicker in his eyes at the sight of her. Their handshake lasted a tad too long and I was sure she just checked him out not so subtly. I should probably be jealous, but I felt nothing. I chewed the inside of my lip pondering if it was because I didn't care if he ran off with her, or if I was secure enough to trust he wouldn't. I'd never cared enough about anyone to be jealous, but that day at the diner, I certainly had some for the blonde that was with Lauren.

Evony interacted with him easily. She knew exactly how to work his crowd. He laughed inappropriately loud. I rolled my eyes. We were all done here so I turned to leave and caught Lauren watching them intently. She turned her intense gaze to me. I shivered at the sheer desire in her eyes as they raked down my body. It was almost predatory and as quick as it flickered it was gone. She cleared her throat and started to leave.

Rainer stopped her as she passed by him on her way to the door.

"Lauren. I have another project for you."

She turned around. I could see she was ready to be gone. Her uneasiness was obvious to me even though she seemed to hide it well from everyone else.

"What's that?"

"There's a big estate sale at the famous Ballenger House this weekend. I'd like you to go with Bo and make sure she is getting a good deal on the things she likes. I want her to pick a few things for the house to make it feel more like hers too."

There was panic in her eyes that echoed mine. That was nearly three hours by car each way. A whole day alone with Lauren was a dream come true, or my biggest nightmare. Hard to tell right now.

"I'm sorry," she sputtered, trying to get out of it, "that's really nice, but I'm really busy Rainer. I have three other clients and I-"

"You will be more than compensated for your time, I promise. Bo knows what she likes, but you know the market and can spot a fake as well as a great deal. I'm just asking for one day."

He reached into his jacket and pulled out his checkbook. Evony smiled and accepted the payment, oblivious to Lauren squirming in her spot.

Lauren slouched in defeat. Her eyes met mine. She looked tired. She was probably fighting just as much as I was, maybe even more and now she was being forced to spend the day with me after so much effort to place a distance between us. I almost felt sorry for her...almost.

"I'll pick you up at six in the morning on Saturday the, Bo."

Part of me wanted to kiss Rainer for this. A whole day alone with Lauren was either a dream come true, or my biggest nightmare. Right now it was hard to tell.

**XXX**

Saturday morning came unbelievably fast to me. I was nervous beyond belief, like first date ever in my life kind of nervous. I was trying to make a strategy in my head. What to say, how to act. I didn't want to make a fool of myself and I didn't want to offend her and make our day together feel like a slowly pulled bandaid.

I also hoped that by the end of the day I, we, would have some answers, maybe even a solution to our problem. It was one I knew we both were desperate to resolve. It really took it's toll physically and emotionally on me. I was sure that Rainer was having questions about my distance lately, too. It really was sweet that he wanted me to find things that made me feel like the home belonged to me as well. I knew he loved me and never treated me like less than.

I also couldn't get the moment between him and Evony out of my mind. I casually wondered if Lauren's buffer might just be the solution to our problem. Was that so wrong of me to think? I was sure it was.

I finished my hair and makeup, slipped on my jeans and boots and made my way to the kitchen. I poured myself a thermos of coffee and an extra one for Lauren. I thought it was a nice gesture. I knew she liked coffee, just not what kind or how, so I hoped this would suffice. I sat at the table waiting for six o'clock. Like clock work the doorbell rang right on time. I smiled at her promptness. She was always exactly on time, maybe it was an OCD effect of her genius.

I slung my bag over my shoulder, picked up the box of freshly baked muffins and the two coffees. As I walked to the door I gave myself a last minute pep talk. I walked outside to find her looking to the horizon, a light smile on her face as the first rays of dawn were painting the sky.

I stepped beside her softly. I looked at her then the horizon.

"Breathtaking," I said, then turned my eyes back to her.

She looked at me, a light blush on her cheeks and her eyes sparkling from the morning light.

"Very much so," she returned with a shy grin.

She held my gaze deeply for a moment. The double meaning wasn't lost on either of us. My stomach fluttered, my mouth went dry. She left me there and walked to the car.

It took me a second to pry my feet loose, but when I finally did, I trotted to the car and climbed in.

"I brought you a coffee. I'm sorry, I didn't know how you like it, but it's a dark Brazilian roast. Oh and some muffins for the trip."

I spoke quickly and held up the box awkwardly. What was I doing? I was already spazzing out. I needed to calm down, we had all day.

"Thank you, Bo that sounds perfect. I was going to stop and get some, but I'm sure this is wonderful."

She took the thermos and slid open the top, inhaling the robust aroma. Her eyes rolled back while a small moan escaped. It was meant for the coffee, but it suddenly made me ache in the most delicious way.

"This smells amazing Bo."

The way she lit up when she looked at me, I thought my heart would bust through my chest from the sheer power of it's rapidly escalating beat. I hoped I didn't look like a drooling fool. I had no control over my capacities at the moment.

I gulped hard, fumbling with the muffins on my lap while she started us on our way. I extended the open box of yummy goodness and offered her one.

"Muffin? They're still hot, the best way to eat them."

She nearly spit the coffee out and started to laugh. I had no idea why, but I could listen to the sound all day. I smiled wide along with her.

We sped off down the country highways, the eighties music channel playing lightly in the background. She was still grinning to herself while she took a bite of the, chocolate chip cappuccino muffin, which happened to be my favorite. I'd steal a glance every now and then, but otherwise sat in comfortable silence as the sun began to rise higher in the sky. My nerves were still on edge, unsure how to act with her. Finally, she smiled over at me with a nod and a tip of her thermos in appreciation, setting me at ease. I let out a relieved breath and sank back into the leather seat enjoying the simplicity of the moment.

Who knew what the day would hold. No matter what happened from here on out, I already knew I was done for, head over heels, over the moon for this beautiful, intelligent woman who breaks out in a fit of laughter over the mention of a pastry item. One thing was for sure, keeping my hands to myself while cooped up with her for so many hours in close quarters would make this my Hardest. Day. Ever.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you for all the love for this story. I always look forward to the reviews, reading what fires you up and what you think is coming up. So the girl's have the day to themselves and there's no telling what may happen next. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 6**

The first twenty minutes of our ride was nothing but silence. I tried to occupy myself by looking out the window at the countryside I rarely visited. It served as a good distraction from staring at her, though it didn't stop me from stealing glances. I wanted to respect her space. I wasn't sure if she was a morning person, I usually wasn't. I had trouble sleeping last night, my mind running through so many possibilities for the day. I awoke with a start like a child on Christmas morning, but I didn't want to annoy her if she needed time to wake up. So now, I watched farm after thousand acre farm fly by my window while she drank her coffee and focused on the road ahead.

"Bo."

"Huh?"

She smiled softly, her eyes went to my mouth. She moistened her lips before she spoke. It was mesmerizing.

"I asked if you'd been up to the Ballenger House before."

"Oh, uh, sorry. No, I haven't. What's so special about it?"

As soon as I asked the question I cringed. I didn't want to seem uneducated, but I never had an interest in such things. Even now, it was only for Rainer and his family that I was learning. She noticed me tense and covered my hand with her own.

"It's alright, Bo."

She tilted her head down and looked at me. The softness of her eyes set me at ease. I could tell she really meant it and wasn't being condescending the way Mrs. Van Allen always does.

I swallowed hard and stared at our hands together on the center console. I wanted to turn my hand over and take her hand in mine, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I tried to savor the warmth of her skin against mine and the energy between us for however long the moment would last.

She came to her senses with a clearing of her throat. She slowly pulled her hand back and placed it back on the steering wheel. Her eyes followed suit until they were focused back on the road. I immediately missed the contact. She shifted slightly in her seat. I could tell she was uncomfortable with her actions, but I didn't even know how to act myself.

"It's not really anything all that special," she started talking to end the awkward silence. "The Ballenger's were one of the families that founded this area, creating jobs and building up the towns. They were the original old money and are responsible for all of the local families of royalty, so to speak."

She glanced at me, a tight smile pulled across her lips.

"Like the Van Allen's," I mumbled.

I understood now. It was like a part of my soon to be family history.

She nodded.

"The house itself contains some of the rarest of antiques and original works of art in the country. The family are all deceased, but they set up a fund to keep this property, as well as their charities, in tact for lifetimes to come. A few times a year the have estate sales such as this, as well as festivals to let people come in and tour. It's a history buff's dream, but rather unexciting otherwise."

I wanted to change the subject from my family to be. It made me uncomfortable to talk about it with her and I could tell it bothered her, too. For all of her practiced professional appearance, she couldn't hide her discomfort from me whenever the topic came up.

"So are you one of those history buffs?"

I smiled wide, hoping to change the somber mood that had taken over our ride. It worked.

"A little." She grinned. "My mother loved antiques, so I learned much of it from her. Some of it is for my job," she lit up as she spoke causing me to smile wider in return. "There is something to be said for seeing a part of history with one's own eyes."

"I agree. I may not know anything about an item, but I've always loved the idea that what I was looking at held it's own stories. It's romantic almost, to think of their journey. They were hand made with real sweat and love. You don't have that with a new piece of particle board out of the box."

Her eyes met mine with a look I hadn't seen before and didn't recognize. The briefest of moments passed before she replied, "Exactly."

A split second more and she looked to the road again. Whatever it was between us, it was more than lust. I wanted to know everything about her and I could tell she was on the same wavelength even if it was unspoken.

"So Bo, you know about me, tell me about you."

"Um, okay. Well, I run the Neiman Marcus store in town."

"I love that store." She held up the edge of her jacket to let me know that's where it came from.

"Great. Next time you shop let me know and I'll let you use my discount."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Bo."

She shook her head, but I just continued to smile. This light conversation was a welcomed change to our usual tension.

"It's no problem, really. I do it for all my friends."

I paused and stared at her. She glanced through the corner of her lashes. I didn't sense any objection to my use of the word 'friend'.

"Anyway, I started there in high school at the cosmetics counter. I took a few college courses after I graduated, but school just wasn't for me. I'm more of a street smarts, worker type I guess." I shrugged with indifference. "I moved up pretty quickly and next year I might have a chance to become the regional director when the guy retires."

I didn't usually feel inferior to anyone, even the Van Allen's, but for some reason, her genius IQ and Yale made me feel a bit insecure even though she never did anything directly.

"So you are going to keep working then?"

"Oh yes. We've had this discussion. I've worked too hard to just give it all up. Besides, I enjoy what I do."

"Well, I hope that works out for you. You've done well for yourself Bo and there's still so much farther you can go. College doesn't dictate success in life. It's about hard work and you've done that. Now you're reaping the rewards."

"Thank you. That means a lot, Lauren, really."

We fell into an easy back and forth, bantering about everything and nothing. Time passed quickly until we pulled into the long drive of the old estate. My mouth dropped when I saw the massive, sprawling Victorian home.

"Holy crap!"

"I know."

She laughed at my jaw drop reaction to the place. It even shamed Rainer's family estate.

She pulled into a spot and turned the car off. She turned and looked at me, while she grabbed a small bag from behind the seat.

"Shall we?"

I took a deep breath and scanned the expanse.

"I guess we shall."

**XXX**

Several hours later, which felt painfully like forever, the sale had moved past dishes, artwork and pottery. I'd seen enough to last a lifetime. I may even be counting them in my sleep tonight. There was a short lunch break before they opened up viewing of the furniture.

I was enjoying time with Lauren. She would geek out over the littlest things such as a certain wall pattern in one of the rooms. Apparently it was some kind of rare something or other during some time period. She was adorable as she explained it in such detail. I would melt when she'd roll her eyes in self admonishment for rambling on about things.

Even though I didn't understand what she was telling me, I would listen to her talk forever. I don't think I could ever get tired of her smooth voice and the way my name rolls off her tongue. I think subconsciously I ignore her when she calls for me just so I can hear her say my name an extra time or two. As much fun as it had been to watch her, I'd much rather we just skip out and sight see.

"Lauren, how much more is there?"

I didn't want to sound whiny, but that was exactly as it came out.

"A few more hours. So I take it you didn't enjoy this morning portion. "

She laughed at me and took a bite of her sandwich. I smirked and replied in my best sarcastic tone.

"What gave it away?"

"Oh, I don't know, the audible groan with every third piece that reached the auction block. It's not for everybody."

She smiled wide and sipped her coffee while I picked at my salad.

"I'd be happy with a nice dinner and a movie, or a picnic by the lake. Oh or a road trip to some sleepy town," I rambled on all the things I'd rather do than this auction.

"Those are definitely nice ways to spend the day," she said, letting her gaze drift away from me, "with the right company."

She immediately hid behind her coffee, tipping it back so I couldn't see her face. I watched her from the corner of my eye and let the comment hang in the air. I'd love to do any of those with her, but I knew I couldn't ask. We were in a difficult spot. We shared flirtatious moments followed by awkward uncertain ones. We were straddling the line of right and wrong, both doing our best to sort these feelings out. I decided it was best to change topics since I couldn't figure out how to resolve our situation.

"I hope furniture will be more exciting. I have kind of always wanted an armoire like my grandma had, but to be honest, this is for Rainer. I could care less about having a another piece of furniture in the house."

"Well, it was a nice gesture for him to want you to begin a life with him by adding to their antiques."

Once again she forced a smile at the mention of Rainer.

"I know, I didn't mean it that way. It's just, that stuff doesn't mean anything to me like it does to his family."

"I see. So what's more your thing then? A nice watch?" She nodded to my wrist. "Or maybe something more like a gesture... flowers for no reason as opposed to objects."

"I do like my watches." I was feeling her out. She seemed to be hunting a little, but she did hit the nail on the head. "I do prefer actions to words and objects. Showing love and appreciation should be more than just a special occasion and doesn't need a special build up, or a holiday."

She leaned in close. "Want to know a secret?"

I nodded. I was in awe of how amazing she looked this close up. Her skin was flawless and she smelled of vanilla. The angle of her jaw was screaming for me to kiss every sculpted inch of it.

"I love boots, but I also believe that being appreciated by your significant other on a regular basis is the key to a long and happy life together. Just little things like a surprise dinner, or flowers just because."

She pulled away and stood from her seat. She took our plates and threw them in the trash nearby. She moved to the door and turned to me.

"Ready for round 2?"

**XXX**

I let out a hard breath and stretched my limbs as we exited the home. Finally we were done dealing with the auction. It was exhausting, but we had bought a beautiful dark cherry wood armoire. I was impressed. Lauren had great taste and was quite the skilled bidder. I will definitely enjoy having it in the bedroom. I will probably think of her when I look at it, which I knew was so very wrong.

Now, I just wanted to tour the grounds and have some more alone time with her before we headed back to our lives.

"That was brutally long Lauren. I could use a good glass of scotch right about now." I chuckled over how spent I was physically and emotionally from enduring this six hour long snooze fest.

"Really? You like scotch?"

"Yeah why?"

"I love a good scotch. In fact, I know a great place we can stop on the way home."

She winked as we walked through the tranquil rock garden of the estate. The pond was teeming with fish and birds with a lovely fountain in the center.

We turned the corner and I spotted another large building that was open in the center. As we got closer, I realized what it was and I couldn't contain my excitement.

"Oh, look, there's a barn. Oh and it's got horses in it!"

I'd always loved the majestic creatures, especially the large breeds like Belgium's that reminded me of all the romantic medieval times movies I loved so much as a child. I'd never had a chance to see one up close and I was almost giddy at the prospect as I started walking with determination in their direction.

"Bo." Lauren grabbed onto my arm from behind, pulling me back around to face her stern expression. "I don't think we're allowed down there."

I spun my head around, there was no one in sight. I glanced down at her hand on my arm, once again enjoying her warmth.

"It's just for a minute. I've always wanted to meet one." l looked up into her eyes. There was hesitation there with a hint of excitement hidden in the background. "What's the worst that can happen? They'll just ask us to leave. You can stay here, I'll be right back."

I started walking once again, her hand held onto me until the distance forced us apart. I was hoping she'd follow me, that my telling her to stay would dare her into disobeying me. She was always so put together and proper, I wondered if she had a wild side. I smiled at the sound of footsteps jogging up behind me. Well played Bo. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

She was just a step behind me when I approached the second stall that housed a giant beautiful grey stallion with long flowing mane. I stopped on a dime causing Lauren to bump into me. He was amazing. His eyes were wide, nostrils flaring as he huffed wildly at me. I extended my hand palm up for him to smell. It was my peace offering. I knew he was trying to decide whether or not I was threat. A few seconds passed, he brushed my hand lightly with his nose as if he was expecting a treat. I was in awe of the raw power that was coming off of him in waves, a complete contradiction to the gentleness on display. There was nothing but me and him as I began to stroke his muzzle.

"He's beautiful," she said softly so as not to scare him.

I wasn't aware of the voices near by until Lauren slid her hand into mine and pulled me into the tack room. She quietly closed the door behind us and pressed her fingers to her lips ordering me to be silent. We stayed as we landed against the wall. Her body was pressed against the side of mine as the voices grew louder in approach. We both held our breath as the voices seemed to stop right outside the door. She gripped my hand tighter, my pulse raced and the anticipation of being caught trespassing. What would that mean to the Van Allen family if word got out?

Just as my need for air was about to win out, they moved on. We both sighed in exasperated relief as the sounds faded into the distance.

She started to giggle. That was the last thing I expected from her. I couldn't fight it, I laughed along with her at our near miss. Her hand was still in mine and it felt so perfect, so right. I turned so my body faced hers, just inches apart as our laughter died down. The air shifted, crackling with the electricity between us. It was palpable.

My hand took on a life of it's own, rising up to brush a stray lock of golden blonde hair from her brow. My finger finished the movement by lightly tracing down the side of her face. She reached up, wrapping her long slender fingers around my wrist. We were both frozen in time. She locked her soft brown eyes on mine. They darted to my lips and back again. Her gaze was so intense it made me weak in the knees. So many unspoken words passed between us in an instant. This was my moment, I had to seize it. I didn't care what it all meant anymore, I just needed to taste her lips.

I leaned in slowly. My eyes drifted to her trembling lips as she licked them. I ached to feel her body against me, to wrap her tight in my arms and kiss her with all I had. Our breaths intermingled, I was just millimeters away. She held me back. I could see the questions and fear play across her face at the enormous ramifications we faced if we crossed this line. We were going to cross it eventually, of that I had no doubt, but I was more than ready to take the leap and see what may be.

Her phone buzzed. My heart dropped. Another moment lost. She would run again I was sure. The interruption was enough to pull her out of our slow motion fantasy and into the here and now. She pulled it out of her pocket, her eyes still locked on mine. My shoulders sagged in defeat. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest from at what might have been. I started to pull away, head back to the car and start the long ride home, but she tightened her grip on my wrist.

She flung the phone against the wall. Her eyes were full of fire as her fingers slid through my hair to the back of my neck, pulling me in for a searing kiss. My body exploded from the overload of sensations. She reached every nerve ending in my body, spreading through my veins like wildfire and it was better than anything I ever could have imagined. Her lips were soft, yet forceful as she took control of me, pushing my back firmly into the wall. Our mouths continued their desperate attack on one another as if it were a final goodbye. I hoped it wasn't, I had no intentions of giving her up now.

My hands fell to her hips, gripping them possessively as I pulled her against my own. The silence of the small room was broken by the soft whimpers and moans of a need that had finally been fulfilled. Each small sound she made drove me crazier making me crave more of her. I deepened the kiss, devouring the moan that slipped from deep within her when our tongues met. She tasted like no one else, a fine delicacy and I knew I would never get full.

She slowed to a breathless halt, resting her forehead against mine. She closed her eyes and licked her lips as we both panted heavily. Her heart pounded against my own. Everything inside of me was screaming to take her right now. I pressed forward, ready to obey my body's command, but she pushed back. Her eyes were wide with panic, the sudden realization of what we'd just done had sunk in. She stepped back out of my arms reach as my hand fell lifelessly from her hip. I said nothing, but I knew my eyes were pleading for her to come back, not to let this end this way.

It was what all first kisses should be, passionate, intense, the beginning of something more. Looking at her now though, I seemed this was the end instead of a beginning.

She walked backward until she was beside her phone. She knelt down to pick it up, her eyes never leaving mine. I couldn't read her blank expression. I just knew that as far as I was concerned this felt right, the most right thing I'd ever felt in my life, even if it was the most wrong thing I'd ever done in my life.

Lauren swiped open her phone as she took a step closer. When she looked back up at me, my heart dropped. A tear ran down her face as others threatened to spill over. They weren't happy tears. She held up the phone so I could read the screen. There was a text in bold white letters from Rainer.

_Lauren, I was wondering what time you would be back. I have a surprise for my lovely bride to be._

She placed the phone in my hand and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the brightly lit reminder of betrayal. Muffled sounds of crying was all I could hear as she trotted up the hill to her Mercedes.

Panic gripped me, breath escaped me. I fell to my knees conflicted between what I had promised and what I wanted. I wish I'd met Lauren before Rainer. I wish I had the guts to call off the wedding. I was still afraid of making the wrong decision and even though she felt right, how could I be sure? I didn't want anyone to get hurt, even as I knew that would be impossible. But now I've drug her down to the depths and trapped her there between living a lie and a reality she may never see.

"What the hell did I just do?"

**XXX**

_**Oh boy, I hate it when that happens! **_**_  
_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**I'm trying not to keep you guys waiting for too long, but I appreciate your patience just as much as your prodding to keep going. Some days it's harder to write than other, but stick with me :D**_

_**I'd just like to say that I understand this may be a touchy subject for some and I do not condone cheating, nor will this be a ragged affair behind anyone's back. It's more of a exploration of one's feelings and their choices and of course some inconvenient timing. I will do my best to represent that in this fic if you choose to stay the course. **_

_**Thank you all for the reviews/favs/follows and tweets! You're all ah-mazing!**_

_**& sbsneeech- ask and you shall receive.**_

**Chapter 7**

Lauren was quickly out of sight, but definitely not out of mind. My thoughts spun out of control as I trudged up the hill alone with nothing but the incessant chirping of birds and my conscience to keep me company. When I reached the lot I stopped in my tracks. I stared at the black SUV and the mass of blonde hair that stuck up over the top of the head rest. She made me feel things I shouldn't be feeling. I'd heard you could fall in love with more than one person, but could you really? Wouldn't one of them always be more than the other, hold your heart in a way the other never could? Could I really go so far as to say that was my struggle now? The whole thing seemed ridiculous, like some tv soap opera and that was not what I wanted in my life.

Three hours of us stuck in the car together was not high on my list of good times right now. One last deep breath willed my deadened legs to move forward and get this over with. Time to just rip the band aid off.

The uneasiness of this morning when I first climbed into the car was now a distant memory. I'd gladly welcome a return visit of that ride, unfortunately, I knew better. The air was so thick with despair it was hard to breathe. The reality of our current situation loomed over us like a bad summer squall. I wanted to make it better, I needed to. I didn't know how, but I had to try.

I shifted in my seat to face her. Lauren had herself plastered against her driver side door, her effort to stay as far from me as the tiny enclosed cab would allow. She kept both hands firmly planted on the wheel and her gaze forward, never once allowing them to deviate from the road ahead, afraid that if she looked at me or got to close, we'd slip back into oblivion. She drove faster than necessary, taking the curves a bit harder than I would like given we were in an SUV and not a road hugging sports car.

I tried to speak in those early moments of our ride home, only to be quickly shot down by a raised hand, or a shake of the head. No glance, no words. Her eyes still teary and red as she kept solely to the confines of her mind. I gave in. I slumped into my seat, my own tears falling lightly as I looked out my side window so she couldn't see.

Half way home, I couldn't stand it anymore. I knew we messed up. Regardless of what we were feeling, we were both in the wrong. We had to talk about this before we got home and the distractions of life left things unsaid. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, dredging up the courage from my deep inside to confront the woman who was effectively icing me out. She was just an arms length away, but it seemed like a million miles.

"Lauren, please. We have to talk about this."

She let out a shaky sigh. Her eyes slipped shut for a moment only to refocus on the road once again. Her fingers unraveled, then gripped the wheel tighter in response.

"Talk about what Bo? There's nothing to say."

Her tone was flat, defeated. Her eyes forward searching the horizon in a desperate attempt to find our way home faster and put an end to this agony. It kind of pissed me off. I didn't know what I expected, but from the fire that seemed to flare every time we were near, I guess I expected a bit of a fight.

"I think there's a lot to say." My anger was building. I wanted to hear her say something, anything. Curse me out, tell me she wanted to kiss me again, any words would be better than being shutout like this. "Can't you at least look at me?"

She shook her head again, still sticking with the silent approach to not solving a problem. I was more of a 'yell at one another and not solve the problem' type. At least there would be some form of communication. Without that, we would get nowhere, ever. I wanted to get somewhere with her. I had no idea what the future held, but at the very least an amicable speaking relationship.

She abruptly swerved across the lane and pulled off the exit ramp. I nearly hit my head on the side window as she made a quick left onto the main road through the green light.

"What the hell Lauren?" I glared at her. "Where are we going?"

She didn't answer. I looked out the window and saw nothing but a few small buildings. As we rapidly approached, I tried to make out the signs. It was a small historic district and there was a restaurant, book store, bar and a few other mom and pop businesses.

I glanced over at her, my confusion evident. There was nothing else around. She had a look of determination and a gritted jaw as she pulled hard into an empty spot, which was most of them on a late Saturday afternoon in the middle of nowheresville. The force of the brakes jerked me forward then threw me back into the seat making me curse under my breath.

"What are we doing? Lauren?"

I was struggling to settle my rising frustration. I could tell by the look she gave me that my agitation was plain as day.

She undid her seat belt in silence and hurried out of the car making a beeline for the bar. I sat there stunned unsure if she needed space, or if I should follow her in. In the back of my head I had a fear that she would sneak around back and leave me here when I got out. That was silly and I knew it. If nothing else she was always the consummate professional and there was no way she'd abandon the fiance of her biggest client in some rundown town.

Several minutes passed and there was no sign of her. I pushed back against the leather seat and groaned my frustration aloud in the silence of the car. Guess I'm going in. I undid my belt and slid out of the car. There was only one other car on the block. I was actually amazed anything was even open. I pushed through the same door Lauren had entered and I was shocked. Inside was like a whole other world. It was pristine and elegantly decorated. There were scotches from around the world, cigars too. This must have been the place Lauren mentioned earlier.

I was a little surprised that she stopped here on these terms, I'd preferred her company here over better circumstances. I scanned the otherwise empty room. There she sat in a dark corner chair with her feet kicked up and a glass in her hand. Her eyes caught mine. My body shuttered from the ice in her stare. I didn't feel that I warranted her response, but I was determined to play her little game and get to the bottom of it.

I approached her slowly, breathing a sigh of relief as her expression softened. A short, stocky old man with greying red hair that receded along the front appeared behind the bar and stared at me. I held up one finger and pointed to Lauren. There was a lightness to the guy that instantly lifted my spirits, making me forget, if only for a moment, the reason I was in here in the first place.

He nodded with a smile. "Coming right up."

His voice was smooth with a hint of an accent. Irish maybe. He did kind of look like a leprechaun. As he walked away, I turned my attention back to her, narrowing my eyes as I assessed the situation.

I cautiously took a seat across from her and kicked my feet up just the same. We said nothing, just looked into the others eyes. I felt like a prize fighter sizing up the competition wondering what was going on in that analytical mind of hers, besides the obvious.

I was engaged. I understood it was a huge issue that I needed to figure out, but we needed figuring out too. Which came first, I had no idea, but she was here now, so this was where I needed to start. Deep down, bad as it sounded, I was beginning to believe that the engagement hinged on what may come to be with her. That wasn't fair to Rainer though. We had been happy...we were still happy. I loved him, I just didn't know what the hell I was doing.

The old man slid the glass between us, carefully avoiding the stare down. Maybe it was time for a new approach. I dropped my gaze to the glass of light amber liquid that was begging to be enjoyed. You could see it was the good stuff, clear and smooth, no swirling colorings. I lifted it to my lips, closed my eyes and inhaled the oaky scent. Looking up through my lashes, I flashed her a half smile as I tipped my glass to her.

She watched me intently as I enjoyed every moment of that first sip. The taste was magnificent. It couldn't compare to the way Lauren tasted on my lips, but for a scotch it was top notch. I knew when I walked in that they only had the good stuff. I had to make sure I found out which one it was before I left so I could get a bottle sometime.

I took another small sip and set the glass down. I swiveled my chair side to side and took a good look at the place.

"So, this must be the place you mentioned earlier."

"Mmhmm." She held her glass with both hands and sank back into her seat.

"It's nice. The inside is quite surprising from what you see on the outside."

"Well, you can't judge the book by the cover." She brought the glass back to her lips, the last of the fine liquor vanishing from sight.

"So they say."

"I decorated this, all of it." She gestured around the room. "He came to me when they bought the building with the idea. I researched more than my fair share of cigar shops and gin joints to find a nice mix between casual and elegant. You wouldn't know to look at it right now, but many days it's packed full of the richest people from around the world that drop thousands of dollars at a sitting."

"Wow, that's amazing. You did a brilliant job, Lauren. It's perfect and the scotch," I turned toward the bar, "wonderful!"

I pointed to my glass and said it loud enough for the old man to hear.

He smiled and waved his appreciation which finally drew a smile from Lauren.

She set her glass down and leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees. " Bo, what are we doing?"

I shook my head. I had no idea. "I wish I knew, Lauren. I really do. I just know that everything else falls away when I'm around you."

"But Rainer... It's wrong, Bo."

Her eyes fell to her hands that were fidgeting with her finger tips. I could see the immense regret she had over kissing me. It hurt to know she felt that way, but I got it, I did. I felt sick about it too, both the kiss and the way it made her feel.

"I know, believe me I do." I dropped my eyes to my own hands.

We sat silently, both looking anywhere but at one another. The truth hung thick in the air as it settled in around us. We messed up. There was no going back, but we knew we couldn't go forward. Not from the place we were now.

Lauren looked up and waved her hand, catching the old man's attention. His smile instantly lit up his face.

"Colin," she pointed up and held up two fingers.

He winked. "Only be a moment Lauren."

We didn't say another word until Colin brought us two new sifters with a healthy amount of scotch. I glanced up at Lauren who wore a soft smile that matched her eyes as she looked back at me. She lifted it to her nose, closing her eyes as her smile grew bigger.

"Ah, now this is why I wanted to bring you here."

I wasn't sure what could be so special, but she was excited so I did just as she did. She never took her eyes off me. It did have a wonderful aroma, more floral the the last. Carefully I took a small sip and let it settle on my tongue before it slipped down my throat. It was absolutely the smoothest I'd ever had. She waited expectantly, on pins and needle for my opinion.

"Mmmm, damn that's good stuff." I'd said it louder than I'd planned, but it was true.

Colin laughed and wiped down the bar top.

She chuckled and finally took a taste of her own. Her eyes had that sparkle that always pulled me back in.

"What is it?"

"It's a rare bottle of forty year old single malt scotch."

"Forty years? Good God, that's has to be expensive."

She didn't answer just took her time savoring the fine liquor with each sip as if she would never have it again.

I didn't want to break the mood now that she was finally settling back down, but we had to finish this talk and definitely before we got any more scotch in us. We still had a long way to drive.

"Lauren, I-"

"No Bo, it was my fault. I never should have done that. It was so out of character for me, I mean, I don't try to break up couples. I just-"

"I know. There's just this insane pull that I can't explain."

"Yeah." She nodded sadly and placed the glass down. Her head fell back to stare at the ceiling and she exhaled in exhaustion. "But never again." Her eyes met mine with steely determination. "I won't be that woman. I was so mad at myself. I was mad at you for being the reason I lost control. I'm sorry for being so cold when it was all on me."

I wanted to reach for her. My hand started to move, but I thought better of it. That would only make matters worse.

"Lauren, it goes both ways. You didn't do it all by yourself. I'm sorry, too."

"You've got an amazing life in front of you, Bo. One most people only dream of."

"What if that's not what I really want?"

She stared at me with a hint of disbelief.

"That's something only you can answer, but if it's not, it has to be because you really don't want it and not some crazy idea of whatever we built up in our minds."

"I don't think it's that crazy. Your amazing, Lauren. The way I feel when I'm around you..."

I threaded my fingers through my hair as I paused. If I said it, it could be devastating. At this point, I felt I had to go there. Her eyes flickered. I wondered if she was dreading what I would say next or praying it was what she wanted to hear.

"I could be very happy feeling that way the rest of my life."

Her breath caught in her chest. Her eyes darted away from me and she stood up and shook her head at me.

"Be careful what you say Bo." Her shoulders sagged. She reached into her pocket and pulled out some bills. "We should get going."

She stepped to the bar, placed a hundred dollar bill down and nodded to Colin. He smiled and gave us both a wave in return.

"That seemed like a lot for what we drank."

"He never charges me for drinks. I've insisted he let me tip him and that didn't even cover your shot of the finest."

I froze in place, my jaw fell open. "Holy shit!"

She laughed and kept walking. I trotted to catch up.

"So," I followed her lead, "where do we go from here."

She hit the fob to unlock the car. She opened her door and looked at me. Her body straightened up, her poise returned. There was a silent resolve in her gaze, for what I wasn't sure. It lingered there until it was hidden away by her sunglasses.

"Back to our lives."

**XXX**

The ride home was uncomfortable, but not tense. We made small talk to pass the time or enjoyed a random song on the radio. When we reached the long driveway to my house, Rainer had just arrived home from the office and was getting out of his Bentley. He turned and smiled, waving enthusiastically at us. Lauren drove into the spot beside him. She slipped it into park, left it idling and leaned back, a light smile on her lips and her aviator glasses to hide her eyes. She reached down and flicked a button, sending my window all the way down as Rainer stepped up. I grabbed my things and undid the belt hoping to avoid what would surely be an uncomfortable threesome, for two of us anyway.

"Hello ladies, how was your day?"

He leaned in and pecked me on the lips. He was overly excited, it was evident in his voice and body language. He was practically hopping from toe to toe and I knew it wasn't over my antique shopping. I covered his hand that set inside the window giving it a light squeeze.

Lauren was the one to speak up.

"Hello Rainer, it was interesting."

I wished I could see her eyes because she had already slipped seamlessly into business mode.

"We did find a lovely armoire that Bo fell in love with. It will be here Monday afternoon. Just tell the help where you would like to put it when it arrives and it will be done."

He nodded with approval while I sat between the two of them with nothing to say.

"Oh," she continued in her professional voice," and the wonderful people in charge wanted me to send you their warmest regards and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials."

"That's very kind. I will be sure to let them know that it was appreciated. Thank you Lauren, for handling this and keeping Bo company today." His eyes lit back up again as he looked at her. Lauren smiled in return. "You didn't tell her about the surprise did you?"

I stiffened. I'd forgotten all about the text the moment Lauren ran off.

"Baby, guess what?" His smile was bright as the sun as he looked into my eyes.

"What?" I tried to seem just as excited, but I was scared to death. My stomach was tied in knots.

He pulled the door open, took my hand and helped me out. He was always a gentleman and the gesture brought out my genuine smile.

"That pavilion by the falls that you wanted so badly to get married at?"

"Yeah?"

"They had a cancellation and I booked it for us. It's a month earlier, but since we haven't sent out invitations yet, it doesn't matter. And don't worry, I already told the planner to get all the vendors up to speed."

"What?" My stomach dropped like a lead bucket, my mouth followed suit. I stammered to find words. "Tha... but, that's a month sooner? That's in like, three months."

My mouth was still agape, shock was written all over me as he pulled my bag from my arms. He reached across and happily handed Lauren a check for her days work.

A surprise indeed. I looked back at her, still stunned and confused at the sudden change in life altering plans. I saw nothing in return. She folded the check and placed it into the console.

She hardly looked at me, but the way she steeled her jaw told me what I needed to know. We agreed to keep a distance and never repeat what happened today. We would be civil and finish the project, but keep minimal contact. I needed to get back on track. Promises had been made, a future was set into motion and there were consequences. Our little moment affects many more lives than just us two.

"Goodbye Bo."

The flat tone of her voice in no way matched her outward struggle. It hit me hard, because I knew exactly what she meant when she said it.

Rainer wrapped his arm around my waist and led me toward the house as she pulled out of the drive.

**XXX**

"Lauren?"

The familiar voice echoed through the house. I'd forgotten about the text I sent her, lord only knows what it said since I'd had a few beforehand. Now I was happy on the back porch enjoying the crisp night air, trying my damnedest to forget the day and the way I felt when our lips met.

"Tam?"

It was exhausting to yell. I had a nice buzz going and was well on my way to reaching my goal.

"Lauren?"

Good God! What was this, Marco Polo? The house really wasn't that big and I was only ever really in three rooms.

"Tam," I sighed hard, my voice not nearly as loud as the last time.

She bounded through the sliding screen door like a cop on a raid wearing a ridiculously serious expression on her face that didn't fit the moment at all. It just made me want to laugh. I was doing my best to contain it, but the booze made me weak as the edges of my lips started to pull up.

"Lauren, what are you doing?"

She frowned even harder at me. Her hands went to her hips in her standard 'what the fuck, Lo' pose that I had seen over the years.

"Just having a little drink after a hard day at the office."

The giggles just poured out of me. I couldn't help it and the more she acted like my mom, the worse it got.

"From the looks of it I'd say you've already had a few."

I poured another glass and lifted it to my lips between gasps for air.

"Lauren, put the glass down and step away from the four thousand dollar bottle of scotch."

I threw it back before she could take it away giggling through the burn at my defiance and nearly falling over as I did. She lunged forward and caught me, pulling me into a chair and taking away my fun.

She smirked at my drunkenness as she pulled the bottle from my powerless grip and poured one for herself.

"I thought you were going to the antique sale."

"I did."

She downed it without a second thought. I was disappointed she didn't take the time to honor it the way a rare, expensive bottle should be. At least for the first few shots until you got lost in the bottle.

"Well, how hard could it have been?"

"I went with Bo." I fell back weightless into the chair, my arms draped haphazardly over the top as the room began to spin.

"Ohhhh. Now it all makes sense." She chuckled and shook her head.

"It does?"

I furrowed my brow and struggled to push myself up in the chair for better balance. I lunged forward to swipe the bottle away and fell out of my seat. She chuckled in my ear as she helped me back up. She poured another glass and took a sip, slower this time.

"We kissed."

I threw the words out into the air like I was ordering ice cream, like it didn't mean a thing. She just about spit her drink on my lap.

"Wait, what?"

"What?"

"She kissed you?"

"Actually I kissed her, she kissed me back, but yes."

My hands were moving about as I spoke. It was a habit when I was nervous or excited. At the moment they seemed to have taken on mind of their own and it was extremely annoying with everything else spinning about.

"I can't believe you did that. The Lauren I know isn't that type of woman."

"What? No, I didn't...it wasn't meant to...I fucked up okay? She just makes me crazy. I can't even explain it."

"You're a mess, Lo. That girl's got some kind of hold on you."

"Not anymore. I'm done with obsessing over someone I can't have."

I moved to stand up and slid off the chair. Tamsin pulled me back up again. Her hands were all over me, brushing me off and fixing my hair. It stirred up emotions I didn't want to deal with anymore. I couldn't deal with.

"Really? Just like that huh?"

She pulled back and leaned on the edge of the table, looking me up and down. I knew she didn't believe me, but I believed me. I was going to have to believe me.

"Yup."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I've got someone that loves me and knows she wants to be with me."

Her brows shot up, her body instantly righting itself as if ready for a challenge. "Who's that?"

I stood up with steady legs this time and closed the distance between us, leaning into her space. She watched me curiously, her eyes darted to my lips as she moistened her own.

"You."

I pulled her in, capturing her mouth with mine. She moaned when our lips met in a slow, deep kiss moving together softly. She relaxed against me and I felt her give in. I pulled the edges of her shirt out of her pants and she broke the kiss, her eyes dark with desire, breathless and beautiful. She wanted me, she always wanted me. I knew it and I planned to use it tonight. I had to get Bo out of my head and what better to do that with than a familiar warm body.

"You know I love you Lauren. I always have."

"I know, you're always there for me."

I pulled her down for another kiss, but she stopped me. Her eyes were shut hard, her breath uneven, she was fighting her desire for me and I wanted her to give in. I leaned closer but she stepped back, opening her eyes as she did.

"Lauren, I can't let you do this, I love you too much. You'll hate yourself in the morning and I'd probably hate that I let you do it."

"How could I ever hate myself for letting you love me?"

"Because tonight you just want someone to fuck Bo out of your system and tomorrow you'll regret using me like that. If you need someone to play Bo for the night call Evony, but I think it's time for me to go."

I dropped my head, I couldn't look at her. She was right about everything. She always was. Her hands held me still while she placed a kiss atop my head.

"I'm also taking the rest of this bottle. I know you'll hate yourself for that too, being too drunk to enjoy this high dollar booze."

"Tamsin," I begged softly.

My eyes welled up. I wanted her to stay. If nothing other than to be a shoulder to lean on, but I even screwed that up.

She slid open the screen door. Without another glance she called over her shoulder, "Call me when tomorrow when you get past your hangover."

She disappeared from sight. The soft click of the front door echoed louder than it should.

Well this had been a hell of a day. I started it alone thinking about Bo and ended it the same way. The worst part was Tamsin took the last of my liquor and I was too drunk to drive anywhere. I spun my phone on the table, toying with the idea of calling Evony and doing just what Tamsin suggested, but this ache in my chest and drumming in my head was my punishment for falling for her.

**XXX**

**This one is a little different for me content wise and I love hearing what you have to say, so good, bad, or indifferent, lay it on me! **

**PS: To someone, you know who you are, thank you and I wish you the same.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Thank you again for all of the love. You guys are awesome and I'm so glad you're enjoying this one. I drove myself nuts when I accidentally deleted the update and had to start over, so I hope it's okay, but... I know some of you will be lighting the torches on this one. **_

_**Hang in there, we're cruising right along...**_

**Chapter 8  
**

"How was your day?"

I heard his voice, but I was too busy in my own thoughts analyzing Lauren's last words, the way she said them and how she tried to hide her emotions behind those glasses. This morning they were sexy, but this afternoon I wanted to yank them off and chuck them across the lawn.

"Bo, how was your day?" His voice was more firm tinged with a hint of worry.

"Oh, it was fine...it was long."

I was less than enthusiastic and I knew he sensed something was wrong. He stepped in front of me and blocked the door.

"Bo, what's wrong? Did I do something? You've been different lately...distant."

I froze, my face fell. I could hear the sadness in his voice. The full weight of my actions over the past week or so hit me full bore. I felt dirty and ashamed. Things between us had been good and through no fault of his own I'd begun to pull away.

I sighed, letting my shoulders slump and eyes fall to the ground as I tried to hide my guilty conscience.

"No babe, you haven't done anything wrong."

I reached up and ran my fingers through his thick, brown hair, smiling softly but still not looking him directly in the eyes.

"Bo, you know we can talk about things right? If something is on your mind..."

I cupped his jaw then let my hand fall back down to my side. I couldn't tell him about the kiss, but maybe it would be good to talk about the other issues weighing me down.

"I'm sorry. I guess I've been a little overwhelmed. I mean, ever since we met it's been crazy and things are changing so fast and then today..."

I almost let the cat out of the bag. I couldn't though. That would be the worst thing I could do. We both admitted the mistake and vowed not to let it happen again. There was no need to bring it up.

"What happened today?" His voice was etched in worry.

"Nothing...it was just long, very long and I know you meant well, but I could care less about furniture. I mean I like the armoire I bought, but really, I could do just fine never going to another estate sale."

We both laughed. He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine for a quick kiss.

"I know. That's why I sent Lauren with you. I could care less about overpaying at the auction. Besides, I thought it would be a good experience for you and a chance to see some family history. I know Lauren is well versed in those things, plus you had a girl's day out, right?"

I smiled a half smile. If he only knew. "You're sweet. How did I get so lucky?"

"I'm pretty damn lucky myself. Have you seen you?"

My smile reached my eyes. He was definitely charming. He laughed and held the door open for me.

"I have actually." I winked as I passed by and he chuckled at my cockiness. "You are pretty damn lucky indeed Mr. Van Allen."

Lauren was gone. Her parting words meant I should move on with my life. That was exactly what I was going to try to do.

When Rainer and I walked through the door of the house I hurried up to our bedroom. I planned to start by removing the remnants of her perfume on my clothes and my skin. It was too bad the hot water couldn't remove the memory of the way she tasted, or the way her touch set me on fire. I scrubbed myself raw and when I couldn't scrub anymore I turned off the water, toweled dry and slipped into my robe. I leaned the weight of my body on my arms as they clung to the ledge of the bathroom sink. The face looking back at me in the mirror seemed like a stranger. It wasn't the Bo I knew, the confident, sexy woman who had control over her life. No, it wasn't the me I knew, but I was going to get her back.

I walked out to my dresser, fumbling through the drawers for something comfortable to wear when Rainer appeared in the doorway with two glasses of wine in his hands. His eyes raked over me. He always had a way of looking at me that made me shiver with anticipation of what was to come. There was that gleam in his eye that said it was about to be me, repeatedly. He took a sip from one glass then set it down and held the other out to me. I did still have feelings for him, I was having them now, biting my lip while he began to unbutton his shirt and walk towards me with unbridled desire dancing in his eyes. It was amazing to have one person look at you like that, to make you feel so wanted, but having two people make you feel that way was agony.

I needed to focus on my relationship with Rainer. I had to give it a fair shot, because things were good before she showed up on our doorstep. Maybe I had cold feet, but I loved him and was on my way to marriage. He deserved...no, we deserved an honest chance without me running away like I had done in earlier relationships. With the decision made, I recommitted myself to the man before me, planning to do everything in my power to dispel any worries he had about us.

I took a big gulp of the wine and set the glass far off to the side. I flashed my best sexy smirk. I had a feeling tonight's activities would get rowdy. I sauntered back toward him, his shirt now open wide exposing his chiseled chest. It wasn't fire when we touched, it wasn't electric, it was something else, but the smoldering look he had gave me back my swagger. I smiled as I stepped into his space, my hands massaging the collars of his perfectly pressed shirt. My fingers slipped under the edges of the finely woven cotton and trailed down that muscled chest that made made me feel safe, protected, when he held me against it.

He tugged one end of the knot, freeing my robe from its hold and letting the cloth fall open in front. Rainer's eyes sparkled when it revealed there was nothing else in the way of taking what he wanted. His hands moved under the soft blue material and gripped my hips, pulling me in tight against him. My lips found his, my tongue pushing past to tease him just a little. When he deepened the kiss, I pulled away, stepping back from his grasp as I chuckled. He was hot and bothered and looking a lot like a bull that was ready to charge.

He smirked as he slowly advanced on me. I kept moving back, teasing him more.

"So it's going to be like that huh," his voice was low and thick with a hint of mischief.

I nodded and licked my lips, letting the robe fall down my shoulders to pool at my feet. He lunged forward with two hands dipping down, lifting me up like I was just a paper weight. He kissed me hard and squeezed my heated flesh with strong hands making moan loudly into his mouth as our passion flared. My back hit the wall, the soft thud barely heard above the moans that filled the air. I could feel how ready he was to claim me as his hips pressed hard into mine making my desire skyrocket.

The night was everything his unspoken expression of desire had promised. The wine glass didn't survive. Neither did the ugly antique lamp beside the bed. I laid there naked and exhausted staring at the wall, my head on his chest listening to his heart that beat for me as he slept. This was a good night, a new beginning even though it was the same path I was on a week ago. How could this not be right?

**XXX**

I couldn't believe I drank that much last night. A hangover was a hangover regardless of what shelf the liquor came from. The cheap stuff though, always gave me a quick headache, making it that much harder to drown my sorrows. I knew it didn't help in the long run, just a temporary amnesia, but I was tired of the controlled, emotionless, alone Lauren I'd been the past year.

Bo made me feel something, I already missed how that felt. It was gone as fast as it came and there was an emptiness inside that I couldn't fill with booze.

The sun shining through the window was like a knife in my eyes. I squeezed them shut and rolled toward the shady part of the bed. My head pounded like a jackhammer. I didn't know how I got to bed, but since I was still dressed I knew it wasn't Tamsin's doing. She took every opportunity to get me out of my clothes over the years and quite often she'd dress me in something weird. I swore she kept that shit in her truck just waiting for the next time I'd get plastered, which had been very few and far between, thank goodness.

Today was the first day in a long time I wanted to just stay in bed. I was never much for throwing my own pity party, but I think it was about time for an exception. I gently pushed myself up in bed, groaning as the pounding worsened with the slightest movement. The plan was to get to the kitchen for some water and aspirin, though my current state made that seem like an impossibility. I knew I needed to eat too, but I could hardly think of food without feeling sick to my stomach.

I drug my palms down my face, rubbing the haze from my eyes. My cell phone was on the nightstand next to the bed lit up with missed messages. It was only seven thirty in the morning, what could I have missed? I swiped the screen, there were three from Tamsin and one from Evony. I skipped Tamsin's, she would just be commenting on my drunkenness anyway. I was thankful I woke up alone, cringing at the faint memory of trying to seduce my best friend. What a mess, I was embarrassed and knew she'd never let me live it down. That was reason alone to hide in bed.

I checked the one from Evony. We had several projects going on that needed ordering and I had to check in on the contractors at Bo's place. That was the last place I wanted to go. Phillip would be able to handle that. In fact, Phillip could handle all of it today. He was my right hand man after all and more than capable of covering when I was away on business, so why not. Besides, he'd been wanting more responsibility and keeping the contractor on task was probably the hardest part of renovation.

As boss I declared my own sick day. I shot off a quick text to him explaining what to do and fell back into bed. My body hit the mattress hard, immediately sinking in to the soft pillow top, my eyes rolling back in my head.

I rolled onto my right side, my eyes struggling to open and stay open. The neon numbers on the clock slowly came into focus reading high noon. I guess I fell asleep again, something I rarely did. There were three bottles on the nightstand; water, Gatorade and aspirin along side two packs of peanut butter crackers. I couldn't remember if they were there the first time I woke up, but I was thankful they were near by now. My headache had calmed down some, but it still lingered in the background.

I shook out two white pills and swallowed them down with water. There were noises coming from the living room that sounded like the television. It could only be Tamsin, meaning she was also the one that left me well stocked in case I decided to stay here all day. I wasn't in the mood to face her especially after the way I behaved last night, but sooner or later she was bound to come in and check on me. It would be better to face her on my terms.

I swung my legs aside and sat up, holding in place while I got my bearings in an upright position. I tested my legs to be sure they'd hold and slowly made my way to the bathroom. At least I could clean myself up before I went out to face certain humiliation.

Fifteen minutes later I slipped on a clean shirt and sweat pants and opened my bedroom door. She was reading one of my cheesy romance novels and eating pizza with "Flipping Out" playing in the background. She didn't look at me when she spoke, her eyes kept to the book in hand.

"I love Jeff Lewis. You're just as anal as he is only he's more of a perv."

She glanced up through her lashes with a sly grin, testing the irritability level of my hangover.

I started toward her, expressing neither humor nor anger at her being here. "Yeah well, OCD must have something to do with the name Lewis and you know I can be every bit as bad as him, I just refuse to do it with anyone besides you."

I reached the recliner and fell into it, my body feeling like it had run a marathon. I tipped the leather chair back and groaned as it slid a little too quickly for my liking. She laughed at me, but said nothing else. I grew impatient waiting for her to say what she whatever snarky comment she had saved up since I'd last seen her. Ten minutes passed and still nothing, she just sat there reading. I guess I'd have to start and that fact aggravated me.

"So, what brings you here Tam? It's a work day."

"Well, obviously you didn't read my text or you would have known," she said, once again refusing to look up.

I raised my brow at her, in no mood for games. Her eyes flicked over the top of the book at me and then back again.

"Okay grumplestilsken, I said to call me when you woke up. I never heard from you and you called out of work, which you never, ever do, so I was worried."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, but I'm fine."

"I can see that now, but when I got here you were sprawled out across the bed all sweaty and drooling. It was so hot, by the way." I glared at her. She ignored the daggers I was throwing and continued. "So anyway, I had work I could do from home today so I figured I'd do it here while I kept an eye on you. I left you your hangover favs on the nightstand like a good friend and ordered up a nice greasy pizza in case you're ready to eat."

It was hard to stay mad at her invading my space when she was taking such good care of me. She was also refraining from teasing me, or any of her other typical behavior. Actually, that raised my suspicions a little bit, worried that there was something else on tap much worse.

"Thank you for looking out for me. You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged and kept reading, flipping the page in the book without a care.

"I also appreciate you not dressing me funny or drawing on me or..." I sighed, "mentioning last night."

She placed the book face down on her lap and looked me in the eye. She was rarely serious and her expression made me swallow hard.

"Lo...just let's forget about last night. You obviously are all messed up over this chick. I can't remember ever seeing you so worked up over anyone."

Sadness fell across her face and she looked away. I knew she was lumping herself into that group and it pained me to admit it was true. I loved her, but I was never in love with her.

"Tam, I-"

"No, it's okay. I'm a big girl and I know what we are. I make jokes, because it still hurts sometimes, but I never want to lose your friendship. So let's just chalk it up to a bad night and move on. All good?"

My eyes narrowed trying to judge if she meant it or was just covering to be nice. She seemed sincere and I relaxed. "All good." I nodded.

"Good, so here's what you are going to do."

"Oh God, I knew it was something," I groaned and covered my face with my arms. After all these years I knew her better than she thought I did. She wasn't the only one with keen observational skills.

"What? No, this is good. You have to get back on the horse, Lo."

"How, may I ask, will that be happening, because I am sure you have a part in this," I mumbled through my arms.

I peeked out from under them, watching as she stood up and walked to me. She leaned on the edge of the chair and peeled my arms off. She had a Cheshire cat grin that made me uncomfortable. It was always a bad plan when she looked like that and I knew I'd find out what was in store sooner than I wanted.

"I'm glad you asked." She patted my shoulder. "You know that cute little blonde that owns the restaurant we love downtown?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I've got her number for you to call and go out on a date."

"Tamsin! I don't need you to wing man me," I whined. If I could get up quickly and storm off I would, but I knew I'd probably take three steps and fall.

"Oh, I think the opposite. What's wrong? She's hot, self made, successful and funny as hell. A real down to earth pizza and beer chick who knows how to relax. How is that bad?"

"Sounds like you're pretty interested. Why don't you go out with her?"

"I'd love to actually, but she is always going on about you when I have lunch there. I told her I'd see what I could do, that you were always too wrapped up in work to notice."

"She's always asking about me?" I was shocked.

"Yes, so get over the one you can't have and go find out if you can have something good with this one."

She put the paper with black handwritten numbers in my hand. I looked at it, still not believing that someone had been hoping I would notice them. I really was wrapped up in my work all the time. I still wasn't sure why I noticed Bo that day. Well, that's not true, I knew, but Tamsin was right.

I let out a hard breath as I relented. "Okay. I'll call her."

"Go get'em tiger."

She punched me lightly in the arm. It was an awkward moment followed by an awkward silence. My ex-girlfriend/best friend setting me up with a girl she liked. It was like a scene from a bad soap opera, but maybe it was just what I needed to move on from Bo.

**XXX**

I was desperate for some BFF time after yesterday's events. Kenzi always knew how to make me feel better and I was sure she would be home this afternoon. As soon as work ended I headed right for my car, hopping in and blasting my favorite Pink song while I drove straight to her apartment. I knocked on the door and kicked at the pavement, a nervous tick I'd had since childhood. It only took a moment for her to answer and she did so with a huge grin on her face.

"What's shakin' BoBo?"

"Hey Kenz," I replied in a soft voice, "nothing much. What are you up to?"

She swung the door open for me to enter. She was still smiling, but I could feel her gaze burning through me. I could never hide anything from her, I always tried. It was a lesson I had to keep relearning anytime there was drama in my life.

"Just getting ready to demolish some amazing brownies. I picked them up hot and fresh from the bakery."

She walked past me and into the kitchen. She reached into the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Kahlua. She set it down next to a pint of mocha chocolate chip ice cream and can of whipped cream. There was a brown bag on the counter. She reached in and removed the wrapped contents. It wasn't just a brownie, it was a tray of them. I knew my friend could eat, but this was going overboard. Kenzi would probably be a diabetic by thirty.

All I could do was shake my head.

"Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"What?"

I pointed to the sloppy mess of quickly melting ice cream in the pan. "Did you have a bad day or something?"

"No. Why would I need to have a bad day to enjoy this yummy goodness?"

I guess she had a point. I shrugged. "Just don't know why you need the whole pan."

Kenzi stared blankly at me like I had two heads, her hand set on her jutted hip.

"If lovin' brownies are wrong, I don't wanna be right."

She threw her head back and laughed like a maniac.

Scooping the first heaping spoonful into her mouth, her eyes rolled back and she moaned at the deliciousness. She held out an extra spoon to me. I took it reluctantly, but instead of helping myself I just stared at them and sighed.

"Guess I'm gonna have to ask since you're not volunteering anything, so what's wrong," she mumbled through a full mouth.

"Nothing anymore I guess."

She looked right into my eyes. I wasn't fooling her one bit. I leaned on the table and gave in. I dug out a large spoonful of the now soggy treat and shoved it into my mouth. The mix of flavors flooded my taste buds. I moaned, that really was heaven. I ate along the corner or the pan while she continued at a sickening pace, like someone was going to steal them or something.

With three quarters of the pan gone in a matter of minutes, she stopped mid-spoonful and watched me push a chunk of the brownie around. She finally came up for air and leaned back in her chair. I looked up through my lashes as I licked the spoon clean and stood up. I couldn't eat anymore. I wasn't hungry to begin with, but now I was almost nauseous from the intense sweetness.

"Come on, spill. What's on that mind of your's BoBo?"

I set the spoon on the counter and stood up, taking a moment to decide on my words.

"So you know how I said I had to go to that auction with Lauren?"

"Mmmhmm," she mumbled as she took another bite.

"Well, we did and it was so boring. I don't know how people enjoy tha-"

"Bo, what happened, cause you wouldn't bring it up if it was a snoozefest."

I cleared my throat. "Umm right, well...she kissed me. We kissed."

I shoved my hands into my pockets and shifted my weight, nervous of the response I'd receive.

"OMG!"She hopped up on the chair and bounced at the juicy tidbit. I reached up to steady her, worried she might fall amid her excitement. "And? What happened next?"

"Nothing. I mean Rainer sent a text and then she freaked and ran off to the car. It was a long ride home."

I tensed up, feeling myself frown as the memory still stirred up a wave of mixed emotions I didn't know how to deal with.

"I knew she was into you. Did you guys talk? How did it feel? I mean, I know you've been with women before, but were there fireworks? I remember the sparkage at the diner."

She hopped down from the chair and moved to the fridge. She pulled out two cans of Cherry Coke and set them by the brownies. She was giddy for some reason. I wasn't entirely sure it wasn't from the sugar overload.

I was replaying it in my mind to see if my reaction today was the same as it was that day.

"It was...I don't know Kenzi. It doesn't matter."

She wrapped me in a tight hug.

"It's gonna be alright. I'm here for ya. We'll figure it all out."

She looked up at me with those bright blue eyes that always gave me strength. She was so strong. I wished I was more like her. I kissed her on top of the head and hugged her back. It was a relief to know someone had my back no matter how messed up I was.

"We did talk though."

Kenzi unraveled herself and sat back in her chair. She stared at me intently, giving a silent nod to continue.

"There's nothing else. There can't be." I sat down resting my elbows on the counter and dropping my head in my hands. "I dont know Kenz. I should feel relieved that this whole thing with Lauren has been resolved. We agreed to move on and be friends, or acquaintances, or whatever. I have to give Rainer my full attention. He deserves that much. If it doesn't work out for us it can't be because I was chasing someone else."

"Is that what she told you, or what you figured out for yourself?"

"A little bit of both."

I forced a smile.

"Last night Rainer and I had a great evening. We talked and then had mad, crazy sex."

"Whoa! I don't need all the deets, BoBo!"

I shook my head with a laugh. It was more at my own ridiculous dilemma than anything she was doing. My emotions were still swirling. It was like I was going through a breakup for a relationship I never had.

"So you had amazing sex with the man you say you love and yet you still seem down. Why aren't you lit up like a Christmas tree like you usually are?"

"That's the million dollar question, Kenz. I did have fun last night. I felt like myself again when we were together. He was so sweet and understanding and I told him some of the things that were bothering me."

"Hmmm, well like I said the other day, you seemed a bit off but hey, you crushed hard on a hottie, it happens. Maybe all the stress from the wedding is to blame and your subconscious was looking for an escape."

That was the first reason that made sense all week. "You think?" I was filled with a renewed sense of hope that I was really making the right choice to stay the course.

"Okay, so this is what you want then? Your sure there wasn't anything more with her that you want to explore?"

I nodded. "There's no exploring to be done unless I leave Rainer and I can't destroy all this over a kiss."

She shrugged, seemingly unconvinced, but being supportive none the less. I found her response interesting, but didn't want to further muddy my finally clear mind.

"Then you gotta do one thing, like totally and completely do it," she crossed her arms and spoke with absolute certainty.

"What's that?"

"You need to cut the cord completely and focus on you and Rainer. If you're serious about this, about you and him, then no contact, no friendship, no Lauren."

**XXX**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate you all taking the time to leave me your thoughts. Quite the mix of emotions on the last chapter. Please keep in mind that while this story is Doccubus end game, it is also the story of two women: one in a relationship struggling to make sense of sudden intense feelings for someone else, not wanting to hurt anyone and trying to figure out what she wants in life. Another who hides in her work and is suddenly jolted by the fact that she's even having such strong emotions and how she is trying to move on from what she believes she will never attain. There is a way for them to work through this without cheating or Rainer turning into a monster or dying. It's not fluffy...yet, but if you know me, then you know I plan to make it payoff in the end. _**

_**Thank you for reading and sticking with me. I appreciate it more than you know.**  
_

**Chapter 9**

I pulled on my jacket and picked up my bag ready to take on another day at work. The higher ups would be coming around this week so it was important to make sure everything was top notch. I knew they'd be keeping an extra eye on me as it grew closer to Mr. Chance's retirement.

I hurried through my morning routine. I had trouble waking up this morning so I was running a little late, but I'd still be able to get to work without driving Indy style. As much as I loved to speed through town, these days I was striving to draw as little attention to myself as possible. It wasn't a good idea for anyone associated with the Van Allen family to do things that could result in social gossip, so I had been told repeatedly. I was already not his father's favorite, so I tried to keep on my best behavior.

"Bo, wait." I turned toward his voice as he hurried down the stairs. "I have an idea. You're off for the next couple of days and the construction crew will be here anyway. How about I take a few days off and we go up to the cabin just the two of us. I think we could use some time away from everything."

I dropped my bag and slipped my arms around his waist. He followed suit, pulling me against his chest. It was rare that a Van Allen would miss work. Just the offer told me how much he wanted me to say yes. It made me smile.

"That would be nice."

He smiled wide, his eyes sparkling as he leaned in and kissed my lips. "Great. We can head out tomorrow morning."

He kissed me again quickly. It was impossible to miss the giddiness in his voice. We released one another simultaneously, work was waiting. Rainer walked out the door, but I lingered for a moment, staring at the worker that just started tearing out part of the wall where the new window was going in. I thought of how excited Lauren was about this new window and it made me excited to see how it would turn out. I shook the memory of her from my head and looked around at the work that was already done. Everything was moving along and looked to be ready by the engagement party. I felt better today than I had in a while after my talk with Kenzi and Rainer and I seemed to be more in sync. This trip would be a good thing. I was sure of it.

I let out a calming breath then reached for my bag. I slung it over my shoulder and headed for the car with an extra spring in my step. Things finally seemed like they were headed in the right direction.

**XXX**

I was making good time catching up after missing a day. Mentally, I still chided myself for the loss of control and for faltering the way I did, but Phillip did well. He took care of everything and gave me full reports on all the projects. I was happy to see they were getting started at Bo's. It should be a quick job with mostly paint and small touches. The only real construction would be knocking out the wall and putting in the picture window, but that should only be a few days. It would be done in plenty of time for their engagement party.

My hand went to my stomach, a sudden ache had spread through me at the mere thought of the idea. I'd done well to keep her from my mind after I fell into a drunken stupor, but my reaction made it all the more clear that I should let Phillip tend to the follow through of that project. I could focus my attention on the two new ones that called this morning. Seemed my name was already making its way through the circles of high society now that I was designing something for the Van Allen family. I set one meeting for tomorrow afternoon and one at the end of the week. These were larger projects, months worth of work each.

I was filled with a nervous excitement. This past year had begun to take off and now, well, this was the game changer. If I finished the Van Allen's without a hitch and nailed the other two, that would be all I needed in this town to cement the business and Evony would be in hog heaven. Phillip would be getting his wish to be more involved as well, so everyone would be happy.

My gaze drifted from a set of plans up to the clock. It was one o'clock and the pangs of hunger were alive and well. Tamsin's words bounced around my mind. I reached into my bag and pulled out the phone number she had given me, fiddling with the crumpled paper in a moment of indecision. What could it really hurt? I left everything where it was, I'd come back to it later. Phillip was running some errands so I locked the door and put up the sign letting everyone know someone would be back soon.

I pulled out of the drive and headed to Crystal's restaurant. Maybe we could chat while I ate, get a feel for the situation before I committed to a date. She was always nice and she was definitely attractive. We never spoke much because of exactly what Tamsin said, I always had my head stuck in work. It usually took an act of God, or a really annoying best friend to make me notice such things. Funny how that wasn't the case with Bo, but I couldn't think of that anymore. If I was going to honestly start dating again, I had to be open to appreciate what others had to offer on their own merits and not compare them to the one person I couldn't have and really know nothing about besides the fantasy in my head.

When I stepped through the front door I was glad that most of the lunch rush had passed. Crystal was at the back clearing out a register. She was wearing a cute pink tee shirt and tight faded blue jeans. She looked good, really good. I made my way to the bar where we usually sat whenever Tamsin and I came here. I knew sooner or later she would be by. The waitress took my order, a grilled chicken Caesar salad and water and I began to submerge myself in the DIY show they had on the television.

"Hey, fancy seeing you here all alone."

Her voice was was low, but that bubbling personality was apparent without even seeing her. I spun around to find Crystal with a brilliant grin on her face that was sincerely just for me. It felt good. I smiled like a shy school girl for some reason, which made me cringe internally.

"Hi. Yeah umm, I was buried at work and needed a break, so..."

I trailed off. I was nervous and unsure of myself. I hadn't done this in a long time. Speaking with potential clients was one thing, but my personal game was a train wreck most of the time. She laughed and slid onto the stool beside me, letting her hand lie across the bar top dangerously close to mine.

"Did Janie take your order already?"

"Yes. Yes she did." I smiled tightly. Relax Lauren, you already know her and know she likes you, just make small talk. "So how's business?"

She threw her head back in a hearty laugh. "Relax Lauren. You come in here all the time. I won't bite."

She winked at me, a mischievous grin across her lips and a glint in her eye. Heat rose up my cheeks and I had to look away, hiding behind my glass of water.

"I know, but I'm usually so busy with work when I'm here. When I'm anywhere actually."

I laughed at my own natural ability to tune out life and live in a bubble of measurements and decor.

"You should leave that little bubble of your once in a while Lauren. You might miss out on something wonderful."

She reached over, covering the few inches between our limbs. My eyes fell to her hand covering mine. It was only for a moment, but it made me braver.

I smirked. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Hmmm." She leaned in closer. I could smell her lavender scent over the burgers and beer. "I can think of a few things."

My stomach flipped, the nerves making a reappearance brought on by her close proximity and the fact that I could tell how bad she wanted to kiss me. Her blue eyes kept darting to my lips and I couldn't seem to stop myself from moistening my own in response.

"How about dinner Thursday night," she asked.

There it was, the invite was out there. My body tensed. I didn't think I was ready for this. I shifted in my chair, doing my best subtle moves to put a little distance between us.

"I'm not sure. I have a meeting that afternoon. Until that's done, I'm not sure what my plans are for the weekend. It could be work."

I watched her deflate, the sparkle dimmed for a moment before it reignited. "Tonight then."

"Tonight?"

My eyes widened in surprise. That was really soon. It was like, eight hours from now, tonight. I swallowed hard, my mind waging a debate about whether or not to take her up on the offer. She pressed on.

"Yes, come by around nine-thirty. The game will be ending and we can grab some drinks at the wine bar down the street."

I froze. She read my hesitation and immediately jumped back in. "It's just drinks Lauren. Say yes."

She smiled. There was something about her that was easy to be around even as my fear of jumping back into the world of dating was overwhelming. Even when she was being persistent I didn't feel pressured. I looked into her eyes and behind the sparkle was a fear that I would say no. I knew she'd been waiting and hoping for his moment for a while now and really, I had no reason to deny her. There was enough of a connection to explore the possibilities with her unless I wanted to run away right now and crawl back into my cocoon. I took a deep breath and released it slowly, allowing a soft smile to follow it.

"Yes."

**XXX**

I knocked on the door three times and waited. I'd sent Kenzi a text earlier saying I'd be by after work and I wondered where she could be. Through the wood and concrete of her apartment walls I finally heard her yell to come in. I opened the door and followed the sounds to the kitchen only to find a mess of grease and flour. It looked like something exploded in there.

"Kenzi, what on earth?"

Her head head bolted up, eyes darted side to side. "What? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I set my hands on my hips and stared at her in disbelief. "First, you don't cook, so what's with the disaster area? Second, why are you putting bacon in what appears to be brownies? And third, more brownies?"

She dropped the spoon and checked the oven temperature before turning her attention back to me. Her hand swiped some hair from her face with the back of her wrist. It was covered in flour and left a mark across her forehead that made me chuckle. Kenzi was not a baker, or a cook, or a cleaner for that matter, for as long as I'd known her. I was confused.

"Okay, so I don't like to cook, it doesn't mean that I can't. My Babushka taught me how. Brownies are a basic food group and should be consumed daily, I'm sure I read that somewhere and why not bacon? It goes with everything and it makes everything better. "

"Umm okay." I couldn't help laughing out loud at her. She looked so serious, like I had offended her child or something. She sure was passionate about food. "Whatever you say Kenz."

"You doubt my keen abilities in the cooking department?" She smirked at me, her arms folding across her chest in mock challenge.

I laughed harder. "Never."

Always.

Kenzi relaxed, her arms falling to her sides as she stepped up to the counter and took the extra crispy bacon in her hands. She began the process of breaking it up, pausing only to slap my hand as I tried to grab a piece. I reached again and smiled at her shocked expression as I triumphantly held a piece in the air before eating it.

"I got the idea this morning over a Bloody Mary. I mean, there's vodka right? It's awesome, but add bacon and it's ahmazing. There's chocolate, yummy. Add bacon and it's ahmazing. Salad, its blah, but add bacon, it's edible. See where I'm going here BoBo? Bacon makes the bland good and the awesome even more awesome."

"Yeah, but how much d-"

"No but's. Why put a limit on things that are amazing? Chocolate, bacon, vodka, shoes I'm sure you can think of a few other amazing things people would like to have more of..." she trailed off in deep thought.

She had a point. I could think of some things I'd like more of.

Kenzi interrupted my thought process with a clearing of the throat. She was sporting a knowing grin. "What's really going on Bo, cause I know you wouldn't normally come here to harass me about cooking and bacon."

"Nothing really. Rainer and I are going up to the cabin for a few days so I wanted to let you know I wouldn't be around."

"Oh good. For a moment there I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant." She laughed and set the pan in the oven.

My stomach dropped when she said those words. She kept speaking as she cleaned, paying no mind to my sudden catatonic state.

"We could call it a little Rainbo baby. Ha! I crack myself up. Rainbo."

She finally stopped speaking and stared at me. The strange expression on her face was probably due to my own horrified look. I didn't have a mirror, but I knew my jaw had fallen open and my eyes were bulging out. Even my palms were a little sweaty. I was consumed by the need to get that thought out of my mind immediately.

"God no! Not pregnant," I said a little more horrified than I intended. "At least not that I know of and I hope not." I swallowed hard and tried to calm myself with other thoughts. "Anyway, we needed some alone time to reconnect, plus they about to tear out the wall at the house so it's a good time to go." I forced a nervous laugh.

Her ramblings about a baby stirred up an uneasy feeling in my gut. I knew how Rainer really wanted to start a family sooner rather than later and I... I didn't know how I felt other than I wasn't ready now. I had no idea when, or if I would be ready. It was definitely something we needed to revisit on our trip.

I sat down on the stool nearby, suddenly overcome with so many things that had begun to pop into my mind. My career, our goals, likes, dislikes, my familial responsibilities after we married. I really needed a clearer picture. Maybe then my nerves would truly calm. There was a time, not very long ago at all, when being with him was fun and easy and the future seemed far off. It was silly, I knew that. The future wasn't a silhouette in the distance, it was always there staring you in the face charging down on you like a semi-truck on the interstate. Just as soon as you were in the present it became the past and you were always throttling forward, but I refused to think of what would or could change the further our relationship progressed. What it would mean to become a Van Allen.

I wanted to go back to that feeling again, that easy joy I had before he proposed and before she appeared at my front door. Was it even a possibility?

"Bo?"

"Yeah Kenz?"

"Are you okay? You're kinda freakin me out right now."

"Oh, um, yeah. I'm fine. Sorry Kenz, just a lot of things on my mind."

"I bet. Would any of them happen to be a certain blonde of the female persuasion?"

"Not really, no." I'd had a crazy day at work, but I was still surprised that I hadn't been dwelling on her, the way her lips felt on mine, so soft and sweet. The smell of her perfume and the way I forgot everything going on around me when I was with her. Shit. "Thanks a lot Kenzi."

She chuckled. "I see."

I shook my head and pulled the empty bowl of brownie batter to me. I ran my finger along the edge hoping to preoccupy myself with the chocolatey delight in front of me and not the blonde one in my head.

"Myra said Lauren's assistant came by yesterday to check on the progress and no, I haven't driven by her work either. I'm committed to Rainer and I think this little trip is a great idea."

"Good. That's good Bo."

Her voice was soft, almost hesitant and it made me wonder what she was thinking. If I knew my best friend though, it wouldn't be long until she'd make herself heard. She distracted herself with the task of cleaning up the mess. Who was this person and what did they do with my bestie? I sat there as she worked, sorting through my feelings and trying to make sense of how I'd been acting.

"Yeah. I mean relationships change, it doesn't mean they are bad, right? It can't always be easy and carefree like it is when your dating. There's real life to deal with and responsibilities. It doesn't mean we don't still love one another."

"True." Her bright blue eyes looked right into mine with a hint of sadness Just as long as you are still in love with one another and don't mind the stressful times, because you know they make you happy. You can love and still not be happy."

"What are you saying?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. "Just making a statement."

For some reason it felt as if there were some hidden meaning in her words, almost an intended dig, but I could see no malice in her eyes. I sighed, turning my eyes to the oven when it dinged.

"One minute to heaven." She smiled and hopped off the stool. "You ready for bacon brownies BoBo?"

Her enthusiasm was contagious. All my cares washed away with the aroma of fresh baked brownies as she pulled them out and set them down on the cutting board. There were little bits of bacon sprinkled throughout and I had to admit, I wasn't as disgusted as I thought I'd be about trying them. It was easy to dismiss Kenzi with all her quirky behaviors, but more times than not, she knew what she was talking about. Now I was left to wonder if she knew something I didn't.

**XXX**

Rainer was going to work late tonight, he had several things to tie up before we left in the morning. It was getting late as I left Kenzi's so I decided on some takeout. The bacon brownies were better than expected and I had a few to take home for Rainer. What I really wanted now, all day actually, were some sesame garlic baked chicken wings. Fortunately, I knew exactly where to find the best one's in town, The Arena.

I walked into the upscale sports bar that I loved to frequent and did so often before I started dating Rainer. It was busy for a week night thanks to the Stanley Cup Playoffs. I pushed through the crowd and found a spot at the bar. There was only a minute left in the game and it didn't seem like overtime was a possibility. I whispered a thank you under my breath that it wouldn't be long until it cleared out and I could enjoy a drink in peace while I waited for my dinner.

"Hey Bo. Haven't seen you in a while."

I turned toward the woman's voice yelling about the crowd. The blonde wore a genuine smile as she spoke. She was always so bubbly and sweet whenever I came in. No matter what kind of day I had she could make me smile.

"Hey Crystal. Looks like business is good." I yelled back.

She nodded. "What can I get you?"

"The usual to go and a margarita while I wait please." That sounded like a good way to unwind.

"Comin' right up."

"Take your time."

I spun around and surveyed the crowd. The game had just ended and most of them were shuffling out. A hand touched my arm and I heard her whisper, "This one's on the house. Don't be such a stranger."

With a huge grin I turned back to her. "You don't have to do that."

"No, but I want to. We've missed you around here, especially Janie." She winked and nodded to the red head at the other end of the bar who kept throwing glances my way.

"Still? I'd have thought she'd gotten over me by now. I am engaged after all."

"I don't know Bo, I mean, you're kinda hard to get over. You're one hot chick."

She smacked me on the arm and laughed. We always had this flirty thing between us but for whatever reason, it was never anymore. I kinda got the feeling that she was taken, or at least her heart was taken, so I never pushed any further. I was happy to have her as a friend.

"Look who's talking. What's new? Any hot prospects?"

"Maybe. I'd love to talk more, but I got a hot date in ten minutes."

"Now? It's late."

"It's just drinks, but I mean it Bo, stop in once in a while and say hello, okay?"

"Yeah, I will. Just drinks huh? Sounds iffy. Is it one of those dates where you keep it light so it's easy to bail if it tanks?"

"God no. She's smoking hot and I've been waiting months to get her on a date. She's a work-a-holic and I didn't want to give her time to talk herself out of it when she came in today, so I suggested drinks after the game. We're going to go down the road to the wine bar."

"I didn't take you for the wine bar type."

"Eh, once in a while, but no, beer is more my style. I think she'll be more comfortable there though. It's quiet and I didn't want any work distractions."

"Well good luck then. I hope your patience pays off."

"Me too. I gotta go and grab my things from the office. You have a good one Bo."

"You too and thanks for the drink."

She hurried toward the back of the building. Just then the front door opened and a rush of cool air blew through. I caught a flash of blonde hair in the mirror behind the bar, I turned and scanned over the shoulders of the two men behind me. My breath caught when I saw her. Lauren was looking around for someone. I wanted to go to her, say hello or invite her for a drink, but her last words still echoed in my mind.

Crystal came out of the back office and walked right up to Lauren. I stood a little taller so I could see, my interest spiking when it became apparent that Lauren was the woman Crystal had been talking about. It was also clear now that she was also the reason why Crystal and I had never gotten involved. All these months she had been hoping to get Lauren to notice her, to go out with her. She was smitten. I could see the sparkle in Crystal's eyes from here. She placed her hand on the small of Lauren's back to lead her out and I bit the inside of my lip. I had to resist the urge to run over there and put a stop to the date.

I swallowed hard, the sight affecting me far more than it should have. Crystal glanced my way and winked. She was ecstatic and why wouldn't she be? Lauren was a catch and she was obviously doing her best to move on from our encounter. I did my friendly duty and gave her a thumbs up, but deep down inside my stomach turned. I didn't know why. An encounter was all we had, not a relationship and not anything else, just a brief moment in time.

Crystal placed her hand on Lauren's elbow, pulling a smile from her. It was almost like the smile I'd seen her flash at me, but it wasn't quite as brilliant, a small observation that made me smile on the inside. The satisfaction was short lived. It was like someone had knocked the air out of me as they walked out the door arm in arm leaving me at the bar drinking alone.

Janie set my to-go box beside me and said something, but I wasn't listening. I mumbled incomprehensible words and threw a twenty on the bar. I had to get out of here and fast. I grabbed the box and rushed out, thankful that they were already out of sight. I should've been happy for Crystal, and Lauren for that matter, they were both amazing women. Instead I was panicked and jealous. Why did she make me feel so flustered when ever I saw her and how come it felt like I just lost a piece of me?

**XXX**

_**For the record, I've never put bacon in brownies, but it's yummy, they're yummy...how can it be bad? lol**_

_**I welcome your feedback about the story, bacon brownies or all of the above.**_


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